• Make believe Me
  • Started by rightly
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Make believe Me
on: June 06, 2020, 17:37:23
This is another old song of mine, new production
I changed the words a bit from the original

Feedback / critique welcome

Link

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/make-believe-me-1



Lyrics:

Make believe Me

tell me my thoughts
  where do I stand
what can you force
 into a trembling hand

which way is up
  what to believe
write me a book
on all that I'll need

put me in school
  turn out my lights
 until I only want to see
    whatever you like

give me the names
  n one of two sides
     tell me who's to blame 
  tell me who's to die

          Make believe be
    better to be fat than hungry

    look through my window
            too dirty to ask
         broken in the fold 
       fixed into the glass

      kneeling I'm straight
standing I'm crooked
    tell me I should wait
          one day I'll get lucky

          Make believe be
         better to be fat than hungry

____________

    Rightly



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Re: Make believe Me
Reply #1 on: June 07, 2020, 13:51:12
There’s a strange kind of logic behind this one. There are lots of things that I like about it, but I think that most of all I like the central role the bass has been given.
Maybe if I come back for a second spin, I get more grip on the lyrics.
Or maybe it’s just my lack of sleep.
We’ll figure it out, one way or the other.
Well done @Rightly !
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Make believe Me
Reply #2 on: June 07, 2020, 18:12:14
Good song @Rightly i like the sparseness of the bass/percussion/vocal juxtaposed with the eclectic orchestration that sneaks in and out.

Like two fifths of a Klezmer Band wandered by and joined in .... very theatrical in a casual sort of way. It makes me smile 😎

I also enjoyed the same sort of casual playfulness in the lyrics... a bit snarky... just short of “whatever...”🤷‍♂️


  • rightly
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • And there you have it.

    • 169


    • 20
    • Yesterday at 19:17:13
    • Berlin
  • more
Re: Make believe Me
Reply #3 on: June 11, 2020, 12:37:05
Good song @Rightly i like the sparseness of the bass/percussion/vocal juxtaposed with the eclectic orchestration that sneaks in and out.

Like two fifths of a Klezmer Band wandered by and joined in .... very theatrical in a casual sort of way. It makes me smile 😎

I also enjoyed the same sort of casual playfulness in the lyrics... a bit snarky... just short of “whatever...”🤷‍♂️

Lovely imagery in that little write up there.
I’ve read it about five times already. Lol.
Thanks @1roomstudio


Re: Make believe Me
Reply #4 on: June 11, 2020, 15:14:00
You drew me right in @Rightly with the strident and percussive beginning and then completely held my attention with the dynamic instrumental  and vocal development.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason



xx
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