• Mild Rain work in progress
  • Started by Matthew McDale
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Mild Rain work in progress
on: August 01, 2015, 16:24:54
I wrote this song a couple of weeks ago, and I was really struggling with the lyrics for the verses. Chorus and the bridge at the end went pretty smooth. Now I have doubts about the verses. I feel like they have no content, not much meaning, and they are just pretty much bad. Do you think so? Would you change them? Any ideas?



https://soundcloud.com/matthewmcdale/mild-rain-original-songlive-acoustic

Mild Rain

> Tonight, forget what's right or wrong
> Let loose the weight of the world
> lay down and drift along

> Get lost in the silver tides
> This night, the stars will guide your heart
> where the rest of it resides

> Whoever you are
> And wherever headed your life
> Let this hushed melody
> Ease your troubled mind

> This voice is a compass that points
> to a trail of million miles
> and a promise of a well-lit way
> Tomorrow will be a better day
> oh, it'll be a better day

> It's a daily course of life
> to walk and stumble on your feet
> one hell of a ceaseless strife

> And when you feel you've lost the grip
> stand tall and soar high like a bird
> it's just a mild rain

> Whoever you are
> And wherever headed your life
> Let this hushed melody
> Ease your troubled mind

> This voice is a compass that points
> to a trail of million miles
> and a promise of a well-lit way
> Tomorrow will be a better day
> oh, it'll be a better day

> Lose the sight of the shore
> And find the courage to
> Cross the oceans that kept you parted from
> The people you love the most
> The things you're striving for
> The horizon set with new and bright blue skies
> Lose the sight of the shore
> And find the courage to
> Cross the oceans that kept you parted from
> living a better life
soundcloud.com/matthewmcdale


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Re: Mild Rain work in progress
Reply #1 on: August 01, 2015, 20:12:14
Hi Matthew, this sounds good to me, a great and very convincing vocal in my opinion

the melody is very memorable, and the singing is cool

extra karma from me for this track!

me, myself, and Pie


Re: Mild Rain work in progress
Reply #2 on: August 01, 2015, 23:49:15
Oh, thanks! :)


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Re: Mild Rain work in progress
Reply #3 on: August 02, 2015, 20:27:46
ok perhaps my comments were not really giving you detailed feedback that can help, but you track just sounded good to me

but you asked about the lyrics, but i am Dutch so i can not really help with that

it all sounded very all right to me, and i was impressed by the singing

but perhaps some of the other kitcheneers or kitchennettes can give more specific feedback on the lyrics




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