• New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
  • Started by Joon River
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
on: September 24, 2017, 08:01:50
Hey all, I just joined up here today and this is my first song I'm sharing.

I've just recently started writing songs and I'm loving the creative outlet.

I wrote this song yesterday morning: https://soundcloud.com/itsjohnreid/moving-slow

All criticism and feedback is very welcome! Cheers.


  • Jim
  • Chef de Partie
  • *
  • Weirdy Beardy

    • 829


    • 494
    • April 27, 2019, 01:33:24
    • Nottingham, GB
    • https://soundcloud.com/jim-clark-17
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #1 on: September 24, 2017, 09:23:22
Welcome John!  :)

Nice bit of guitar work there and your voice is nice too...but the quality is suffering a lot with background noise which is really distracting.  If you tell us a bit about your recording set-up we might be able to give you some pointers.  ;)

Also, in terms of development the song is just those four chords as far as I can tell, I personally think it could do with a least one variation, maybe one which pushes your vocals into a higher register, that would give more resolution I feel.  ;D

But don't let these pointers put you off, both are just suggestions on how you can improve and are totally fixable.  :D

Oh, and we usually post the lyrics here, it helps everyone, especially those for whom English isn't their first language.


  • Leonard Scaper
  • Global Moderator
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Guest Chef

    • 4030


    • 1150
    • Today at 13:07:47
    • Terra Firma
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #2 on: September 24, 2017, 11:08:13
I like this a lot @itsjohnreid .......your vocal performance as well as the lyrics carry the song beyond those four chords (which is one more than I often use  ;)). That slight pause and repetition at 2:20 is perfect and the way you just end it like that also works nicely.

Stop in and visit some other threads and see what kinds of things other folks are doing with their songs and you may get some good ideas for future productions. Leave a bit of input and folks will return that favor.

Welcome to The Kitchen!!!!
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #3 on: September 24, 2017, 14:29:57
Thanks for the feedback guys! Much appreciated.

the quality is suffering a lot with background noise which is really distracting.  If you tell us a bit about your recording set-up we might be able to give you some pointers.  ;)

I actually just record on my phone in my bedroom haha.. not a great setup I know but I don't have any other kind of gear to work with.

Here are the lyrics by the way:

Remember all the times I said
Id always follow where you lead
Its easier to walk that way
Its easier to hope and pray

But things are hard and things are strange
Things are gonna have to change
So if you could just follow me
Ill try to be what we need to be

This is where we move on
And try to be just friends

You dont really want to let go
Its sad to see us end

But I promise you things will be fine
Forget the times we cross the line

So take my hand and home well go
Baby well keep moving slow

I dont like things complicated
Wouldve worked out if wed waited
I dont like it when were far away
Shouldve held for better days

But we both know we cant do this now
And we both know we cant take this vow
I dont know if well have that flame
But for now Ill love you all the same

This is where we move on
And try to be just friends

You dont really want to let go
Its sad to see us end

But I promise you things will be fine
Forget the times we cross the line

So take my hand and home well go
Baby well keep moving slow

Remember moments at the lake
Side by side, the time wed take
Talking, singing, holding tight
Kissing, looking in your eyes

Maybe someday well go back again
Someday nice, Ill meet you then
But until we know the time feels right
This is how it is tonight
This is how it is tonight

This is where we move on
And try to be just friends

I dont really want to let go
Its sad to see us end

But I promise you things will be fine
Forget the times we cross the line

So take my hand and home well go
Baby well keep moving slow


  • Dutchbeat
  • MADministrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • If you can stand the Beat, get into the Kitchen!

    • 9016


    • 1432
    • Today at 20:24:05
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #4 on: September 24, 2017, 18:01:55
Hi @itsjohnreid , yes this sounds very good to me, and i think you voice has a very honest, clear and beautiful sound

great man  ::thumb:: ::thumb::, you say it is only recently that you started writing songs and your recording options are still limited.... :o :o :o :o :o awesome!

keep the music coming!!!!!

me, myself, and Pie


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #5 on: September 25, 2017, 02:11:15
Thanks @Dutchbeat !

I'll keep the songs coming :)


  • MrBouzouki
  • Global Moderator
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • *
  • "Let the Creators Create" :-)

    • 1422


    • 554
    • Yesterday at 18:18:40
    • Sheffield, UK
    • https://www.facebook.com/Mr.Bouzouki.Music/ https://www.youtube.com/user/MisterBouzouki https://soundcloud.com/mrbouzouki
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #6 on: September 25, 2017, 12:08:37
It's a nice song this and tells a good story lyrically.

since you are only using acoustic guitar on this I feel you need to change the inflection of some of the words between the different verses.

Firstly, it stops the listener getting hypnotised by the singing pattern and 'tuning out' as the song moves on.
The brain is great at ignoring repeating things and instead is drawn to change. (danger in ancient times perhaps??)
It might only be subtle but without instrumental diversion to grab the listener their minds will start to wander.

Secondly, changing things a bit can add a bit more emotion, by just leaning into a phrase, drawing back on another, perhaps becoming a bit more breathy in places.
Have a listen to how people like @Leonard Scaper uses his voice to grab you and hold you in the story.

An example I might give if I was singing it would be to sing "Baby well keep moving slow" as "Baby well keep mov..........ing slow" it's the end of the verse so you can easily extend the lyric.
It draws attention to the title of the song and singing and you are actually moving slow with the lyric.

It would be great to see this song with some little changes like this. I think they might enhance it.

"Love and Life is all about connections"


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #7 on: September 25, 2017, 13:26:45
@MrBouzouki Thanks for the tips, that's really really helpful!

I agree, I think that would make a lot of difference, I just didn't think of it. Really appreciate the feedback :)


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6713


    • 1671
    • Today at 19:56:46
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #8 on: September 26, 2017, 00:05:15
Hey @itsjohnreid , yes man, this sounds very nice! Great storytelling and I love your singing style.
The chord progression sounds exactly like Marillion's 'Kayleigh', but that's no problem imo. This is a different style, so unique. Btw, @Alex used almost the same chords in 'Better than revenge' (check that one out!), but that's a unique (and beautiful) song as well.
So you're not into recording at higer quality? Is it about the songwriting itself for you? I can perfectly imagine and I can hear you've got talent!
Cheers man, well done!
:mart:
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #9 on: September 26, 2017, 03:02:45
@Mar T.  Thanks! And yeah it's mostly about the songwriting. I would be into recording at a higher quality eventually but for that I would need to spend a lot of money on gear. Right now this is just a little hobby I picked up recently. :)


  • Mr Sydney
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 187


    • 120
    • April 16, 2019, 13:27:01
    • Pennsylvania, USA
    • https://soundcloud.com/james-eoppolo-929273438
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #10 on: September 26, 2017, 04:01:28
i can only speak to what I like in a singer/songwriter...and I LOVE this. You have a very appealing style that for me never sound monotonous or causes me to lose interest. Sure production quality can improve, but not all of us have the gear, time or inclination to do it. I love simplicity and I'd love to sit and play and sing and listen to you.

Keep the senses open and aware and keep the songs coming. I am very impressed.


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #11 on: September 26, 2017, 06:02:02
@Mr Sydney Thanks very much! This song in particular I wanted to keep very simple and focused stylistically. It was written for a particular person.


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #12 on: September 26, 2017, 19:59:08
I like it!  ::heart:: Welcome
Jeete


  • Christy
  • Vegetable Chef
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 48


    • 280
    • November 19, 2018, 21:38:37
    • Newcastle Upon Tyne
    • https://soundcloud.com/christy-2012
  • more
Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #13 on: September 26, 2017, 23:57:43
Hi John,

If this is one of your first attempts at writing you are off to a great start. Some great tips below. I agree that you need some kind of bridge to keep the interest and there needs to be more definition between the verse and chorus. How about changing the melody slightly for the bridge/middle 8 and maybe going up an octave if you can. Keep going with this one could be fab. ::thumb:: ;D
A :)


Re: New here! Here's a chill acoustic song.
Reply #14 on: September 27, 2017, 09:19:47
yep , its as good as any song i heard on the radio, prob dont want to hear this but re-record it in a studio, after baby well keep moving slow, there is just the guitar - i would think you need a chorus in there, e.g. moving slow, slow, slow, that is just basic but its missing something after moving slow, trev
Twitter, Facebook, SoundCloud, etc... Trevor Gilligan



xx
New Song Shipibo - Chill

Started by Alwin on Songs for review

0 Replies
321 Views
Last post September 05, 2017, 23:33:06
by Alwin
xx
My new lo-fi hip hop type of song with chill guitar

Started by Introverse77 on Songs for review

7 Replies
320 Views
Last post August 15, 2019, 22:14:17
by Dutchbeat
grin
Above The Stars [Chill, Indie, Electronic]

Started by Alwin on Songs for review

7 Replies
781 Views
Last post July 30, 2017, 13:07:20
by MichaelA
xx
Tried to use Clipping to my advantage in this chill trap thing

Started by elitelecaster on Songs for review

3 Replies
570 Views
Last post August 31, 2016, 11:38:18
by Andrew Jezmund
xx
Experimental Hip Hop / Chill Vibes - In Progress, unmastered.

Started by iiviivix on Songs for review

6 Replies
510 Views
Last post September 01, 2018, 13:32:04
by Goatrelated