• New song: Have You Ever
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  • Jellody
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New song: Have You Ever
on: January 20, 2020, 06:59:38
Hi mates,

I wrote a new song 'Have You Ever' it's my first kind of ballade  :)
https://soundcloud.com/jellody/have-you-ever-feat-joe-romero/s-cl3Yp

I wrote this song 5 years ago, but I finished it this week.

Thanks for the comments!


Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #1 on: January 20, 2020, 12:44:23
I'd love to give it a good listen. Can you post the lyrics please?


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Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #2 on: January 20, 2020, 14:33:23
Sounds great. Strong vocalist......
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #3 on: January 20, 2020, 17:15:36
My thoughts and suggestions as they come to me.  Pleasant ballad opening.  The minimal instrumentation and soft vocals work for me.  I like the additional instrumentation joining in at 1:16.  The pronunciation isn't always clear on my speakers.  The instrumental ending from 2:05 to 2:27 seems long.  Second listen thoughts.  I hear the connection of the end and beginning now.   I like the lyrics and the vocalist.  Enjoying the song.  I would suggest  cut the intro a little.  I also would like the other instruments to come in sooner.  For me the song has a country feel.  I might suggest some more country instrumentation:  pedal steel, mandolin, banjo?  To go along less synth would fit the more country sound better.  Nice listen, thanks for posting.


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Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #4 on: January 20, 2020, 18:49:53
And I join the chorus with @M57 :
And i’ Second guessing
‘Cause you have been messing
With pronouciation
All along

You see, I try to get to grips with English lyrics writing.
If you works at your pronunciation, we’ ll meet half way.
I love ballads.
I do nothing else.
I do anything between 70 bpm and say 120.
Self mocking I sometimes say that I have a slow song and an even slower one.
And (against the grain) I hope you’ll explore the ballads too.
But please be aware that there are many non natives around.
In da Kitchen anyway.

Kind regards, Gus


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Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #5 on: January 20, 2020, 23:50:26
Hi, thanks for the comments and feedback!! :)

Here are the lyrics:

Have you ever felt to touch the ground
Have you ever felt the love you found
It's the life you were looking for
It gives you more and more and more

Have you ever felt the real pain
Have you ever broke your heart the same
It's the day you were looking for
It gives you more and more and more

I'm digging it up

It's straight from my heart

You still standing strong

It cannot be wrong
I'm digging it up

It's straight from my heart


Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #6 on: January 21, 2020, 01:04:00
« Last Edit: January 21, 2020, 01:43:47 by M57 »
Hi Jellody.  Really nice song. Solid playing and singing. Your voice reminds me of Harry Chapin - a master story-telling songwriter.

Though English may not be your primary language, you phrase things in song very well.  My issues are with the meaning of the lyric. It just doesn't make sense to me.  What is it about?

Have you ever felt to touch the ground (this is a very nice first line)
Have you ever felt the love you found (This is a tautology. If you've found love, then you've clearly felt it - so why the question?)
It's the life you were looking for
It gives you more and more and more   (If the first two lines are questions,  then in the last two line you're telling the person what they want, it doesn't make sense.)

Have you ever felt the real pain  ("the" real pain is not good English - you are saying there is only one kind of pain)
Have you ever broke your heart the same (one does not break their own heart)
It's the day you were looking for (why would somebody look forward to the day their heart will be broken?)
It gives you more and more and more (..and why would they want more and more pain?)

Here are some suggestions. I'm assuming that you want the person to look for and find love, even though they have had set-backs in past relationships..

Have you ever felt you can't touch the ground
Have you ever lost a love you once found
Was it the life you were looking for
Or should you reach for that and more

Did you ever try to ignore the pain
And did it break your heart - just the same
Maybe the the day (that) you're looking for
Will give you more and more and more


I'm digging it up

It's straight from my heart

You still standing strong

It's not too late to start
I'm digging it up

It's straight from my heart


The third line is the only line I'd change. An ABCB'DB rhyme-scheme sounds much better to me


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Re: New song: Have You Ever
Reply #7 on: January 21, 2020, 01:18:17
Wow, thanks for the good feedback. I agree with most of it.

Your suggestion is very good  :ok: When I make a new version I will take a look at this lyrics.