• New song "Under a Bridge" roughdraft, questions, and an experience.
  • Started by Kellyanneg
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  • LePlongeur
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She’s no James Brown @eric craptone !
But I see what you mean.
I think.
Kind regards, Gus

@eric craptone hello and thank you! @Bill from November Sound thank you for listening and your suggestions. After what @jmacdon said I had been thinking of chord changes to make the music match the story more respectfully, and you mentioning the same sort of suggestion drove it deeper...i wrote it the night before posting, it was quick, and I think I was anxious to share my experience as much as the song. Also, with more practice and coffee, I will be toning down the voice. To hear a "power range" in this song certainly indicates another thing to look at. Thank you for kindly suggesting. This is how we get better. @Leonard Scaper @Layerson and @LePlongeur thank you. There is only one James Brown.  :)  I'm hoping to post the song with a few changes today. Hope it hits closer to the target. Have a wonderful day and thank you.
Do what makes your heart sing :)

« Last Edit: March 18, 2019, 18:06:20 by Kellyanneg »
@Layerson @LePlongeur @ @eric craptone @Bill from November Sound @Leonard Scaper @jmacdon   Good day...ok I tried a chord change here and there.  I struggle with the guitar/sound so bare with me, but wanted to get your feedback on the change...does it help?  and I think I'm stuck in the "power range"   :-\


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Well.....I have to honestly say that I like your first version a lot better. That particular chord change was one of the things that really struck me about the song arrangement when I first heard it. To me it felt more....uplifting.....and I think that really worked in juxtaposition to the tenor of the lyrics.

Its interesting how one small chord change like that can change the entire feeling of a song.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680


Interesting...and yes...it's very gloomy sounding to me. It's obviously not a happy subject, but for the song I think I like the first one better too. Just thought I'd take a crack at it and see what other ears think. I didn't hear, or especially feel "happy" with the first version. Thank you so much!

Hi @Kellyanneg  ... well @Leonard Scaper and I do disagree occasionally.  :)  I like the second one better. To me it just feels more like the words sound. I'm going by the "feeling" of it right now and I'm on my way out the door.
I'll probably be able to go more in depth once I get to listen again. 
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.

@Kellyanneg - honestly I like both versions but I feel it makes for different songs all together.  :-\

If gloomy is the sought after, I'd agree with @Bill from November Sound and chose the second version. I melancholy is the goal, I think the first version is more contrasting (positive music vs sad lyrics) and I'd go with the first.

I do think the second version is more unique and you're displaying more of a creative range in it. When it comes down to it, music is highly subjective and you will have to be the supreme judge. Both versions are equally good in their own ways, it's a matter of preference.

Sorry I couldn't be more precise, however I'm slightly "tilted" towards the last version if that helps.  :makeitup:
Layerson (a.k.a. Mikael Lagersson)

Wow @Kellyanneg

How absurd is life sometimes, how absurd to walk between personal boundaries, but it is like that...
Your song defines well your feelings and your doubts, there are special days that put us in front of a mirror in which we see many things that are on our shadow.
I personally would say under "the" bridge, It gives a universal sense.
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times

@Layerson yes I see what you mean...each version has a different energy. Taking time to listen and share your opinion does help...thank you! :yes: @Mora Amaro La Loba thank you! I'm sitting on the fence with this one.  ::)

This is great Kel, the sound is a bit brash i'd love to hear a cleaner version, let that amazing voice come through crisp and clear.

@realkevm thank you very much!! Yes, my sound is lame lol. I've had some awesome input on that from @Layerson that I'm hoping to apply when I get to turn my son's room into a music room. I would love to have a fraction of his knowledge and talent. I am horrible at figuring out the technical side of all of this. In fact, I went out on a limb and am playing with audacity...I think for a beginner like me it's a good learning tool if nothing more. Anyway, thanks again! Have a great night!

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Hi @Kellyanneg ,

I'm feeling a kindred songwriter here.

I like your approach.

And, for the record, I like the first take better than the second one. The second one strikes me as unnecessarily lugubrious.  I've slept under bridges. It's not all that different from pitching a tent in a kind of wild but severely restricted space (the signs in all of these places tend to give them away).

Life is best lived straightforwardly without any bows to pity.

And I agree... this is exactly where Jesus can always be found.

I'm off to find the next one of your songs :)

I'm a lyricist seeking music writers to work with.

@smajor hello! I've listened to them both several times now, comparing the general effect of doing so. I agree with liking the first version better. I think the second version is one I wouldn't want to hear more than once.The gloominess almost takes away from it being a story told, if that makes sense. Thank you!!

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