• Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
  • Started by Chris Spruit
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Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
on: October 12, 2018, 14:06:16
Hi Kitcheners,

yet again I came across a very, very old songdemo I did years ago. Had this Poetry written ....anyway...
And everytime I listen to it now and then I think, you should get back to it one day ...
But should I ??? Really, or leave it as it is???????

Don't know if you have some of these "sleeping song" you somehow love but always think it is an unfinished symphony, too?!

So here it is and help me make up my mind:


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Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #1 on: October 12, 2018, 21:10:53
I like this production. There are lots of complex changes going on, all tied nicely together by good lyrics and excellent vocals. This really  translates to me as a work in a number of short movements.

Listening again I can see how you could stretch this out into and even bigger piece where you expand on some of the motifs that you introduce......but it is very solid exactly as it is.

"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680


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Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #2 on: October 12, 2018, 21:25:10
Long, long time ago, I had this friend in London. She was razor sharp and if she detected anything not 100% true to life, she would call that strange fuckery.
Now, I can hardly over-estimate your creative powers. But (yes sorry, thereís a but.....) I think that the people accompanying you were too anxious to make it stand out with all kinds of frills and things that hardly matter.

Nothing wrong with the beautiful and simple melody line. The song itself shines through my headphones. I think itís rather difficult to connect to.
Ever heard of the KISS model? Keep it short and simple?
Now I know, Iíve something to work on where short is concerned. The rest I understand, I think. But I really think with a voice like yours, I would never play two chords where one is enough. For the extra accent on your gorgeous voice. That would be my focal point.

Yes I know I shouldnít say this. But I know: iím Spoiled rotten..... and I know who spoiled me.
Kind regards, Gus

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #3 on: October 13, 2018, 09:17:38
@Leonard Scaper @LePlongeur

thank you both for getting your head into this.
Yes I do agree on both on you. Less is more.

It is  a Collage rather then songs I am writing nowadays.

The Thing here is, that I tried (and probably too hard) to paint a picture without using chords in one Instrument , means all components are only playing single notes or sounds. To create this "magical foggy feel "with the focus on the lyrics.

Ok I think some pictures don't need a hang on a wall, some with a cloth in the cellar :-)

Puh glad you both helped to make up my mind.

That was the question and good to have an answer.

Thanks for your honesty then it makes sense here  ,  XXX Chris

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Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #4 on: October 14, 2018, 00:26:50
@Chris Spruit  There`s a quiet intensity to your vocal I like and the lyrics are  mysterious; an inner journey with space to interpret.
I enjoyed the arrangement; yes, maybe it could be pared down as the melody is strong enough to support something simpler ... but a lot of work went into this so until you have a feeling to  make  something completely new, I`d leave as is.


Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #5 on: October 15, 2018, 10:29:46
@robertkc  Thank you for the close listen and the understanding what was going on in my mind.
It is indeed an inner voice and that is what I tried to record .
Great , that is a very useful comment and I will leave it as it is now and make my freedom with it <3 Chris :thumbsup:

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Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #6 on: October 16, 2018, 17:08:45
hi @Chris Spruit ....wow, that is super nice track....i love the sound of this

super  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: a fat like on your soundcloud from me  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #7 on: October 17, 2018, 07:56:17
@Dutchbeat !!!!Thank you!!!  ::thumb:: ::thumb::Big Like :-)

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #8 on: October 27, 2018, 18:47:49
@Chris Spruit That is a fascinating piece of work, in which the tension lies below the surface, but it is tangibly there all the way. When I first read the lyrics, I felt a slight reminiscence of Sylvia Plath. Now SHE was a very complicated character, I'd say.
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #9 on: October 29, 2018, 07:54:58
@Pleudoniem  thank you ever so much. And I see now why this song/collage is not letting me go.

It seems to polarise and that is something not bad about a piece of "Art".

The shoes of Sylvia Plath are quite big for me, even though the personality of this person who is "staring at the surface of the lake" was one , too

so it is a very great compliment for my modest poetry skills.

XXX Chris

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #10 on: November 16, 2018, 00:46:14
Hi Chris

You have a very special voice that fits very well for the lyrics.
I love how you sing "this is not my venue"!! ...

There are 2 voices in this part?
"My image is in motion
reflected by the lake
my soul is dancing to a rhythm
taken by a hand to dance"

It would be great if they could be heard louder, highlighting the movement described by the lyrics even more.
Well, it's my opinion...

The change from 3'32 gives a color that moves the story to another feeling, to another inner place...  good idea.

You have made a very particular song.
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #11 on: November 16, 2018, 09:50:09
@Mora Amaro La Loba 
thank you for the nice feedback.

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Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #12 on: November 16, 2018, 17:59:44
this is very good, just my opinion? I would not touch this at all, great guitar, is that you playing? not a hard song to listen to.

Re: Old Song Demos Poetry and Sadness
Reply #13 on: November 21, 2018, 14:22:12
@Lane  Thank you for listening, yes I decided not to touch it, now, too

I cannot play guitar well, so a very good friend of mine (Peter Zahn aka PaZion https://www.myownmusic.de/pazion/ )  did that spice to the dish, and I loved it.
And now I will have a listen to your music.
Nosy me :-)

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