• One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
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OK, folks, here’s the contribution from Collaborateur ‘X’ and me. ;)

Can you guess who ‘X’ is. ;)

After ‘X’ had kindly agreed to a collab, I sent a lyric of a length Bob Dylan might have envied.  ::)  (But it did have 19 of the ‘magic words’ - purple prose in abundance.  :D ) Thank goodness, I quickly had an ‘epiphany’, and dropped 19 lines and made a couple of other adjustments, leaving us with a manageable length and 10 magic words. Then the fun began.  ;)

Hope you enjoy a little ‘navel gazing’ with a musical difference. ;)

Donna

https://soundcloud.com/donmar-2/one-epiphany-short-wav/s-sCWoF

One Epiphany Short   

V1
Brooding under a willow tree
I ponder my existence
Even the leaves
Know more than me

They ripple in the radiance
Of sun and wind and rain
While I repeat                                 
My old mistakes again

Ch
And I’m always one epiphany short
…A stumbling mortal
Begging at wisdom’s portal
…Always one epiphany short
Of enlightenment

V2
Brooding under a willow tree
Where solitude and sorrow
Are cellar doors
That beckon to me

I turn instead and move toward     
A light I’ve seen in dreams
I seek the truth
But nothing’s what it seems

Ch
And I’m always one epiphany short
…A stumbling mortal
Begging at wisdom’s portal
…Always one epiphany short
Of enlightenment

Solo

Bridge
No elixir can fulfil
Human yearnings
Or keep them still

Ch
 And I’m always one epiphany short     
… a bumbling sort
Begging at wisdom’s portal
…Always one epiphany short
Of enlightenment

Repeat
Yes, I’m always one epiphany short
…A stumbling mortal
Begging at wisdom’s portal
…Always one epiphany short…

Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #1 on: May 01, 2019, 15:58:56
That Steve Gleason raises his head again.  :blackgrin: :blackgrin: :blackgrin:

An interesting entry for the challenge and also interesting hearing Mr Gleason's take on the lyrics.

Good job folks

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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #2 on: May 01, 2019, 19:25:37
oh boy, how i love the kitchen

hearing a collaboration between @DonMar  and @Leonard Scaper (btw..it is you...isn't it, Leonardo di Scapio?  ;D ;D ;D ;D :pompom: :pompom:)
 ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

beautiful  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone::
btw, this is in 3/4 time signature...right??  ::headphone:: ;D :shinyteeth: :shinyteeth: :shinyteeth:

perhaps add some more volume to the vocal...i think it can be a tad louder
and perhaps delete the instrument (without vocal) guitar bits in first measures

go to the lyrics and the song right away..???
and repeat the chorus one more time in stead

fantastic....but now i have to go look up what epiphany means....@DonMar...i forgot

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me, myself, and Pie


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #3 on: May 01, 2019, 19:47:07
(btw..it is you...isn't it, Leonardo di Scapio?  ;D ;D ;D ;D :pompom: :pompom:)

Wait a minute....this "X" guy DOES sound familiar!!

Does this have something to do with that @Dutchbeat thread  about impersonating  musicians???

 8)
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #4 on: May 01, 2019, 22:22:30
Good work, you got in a fair few of the magic words!


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #5 on: May 03, 2019, 00:28:58
Golden combo! Indeed some Dylanesque delights are in this quite uplifting track. Even though one epiphany short there is a move towards light!
@DonMar @Leonard Scaper  - well done
Going to hear it again, to check what @Dutchbeat brought to the table about deleting guitar bits...
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #6 on: May 03, 2019, 00:56:33
@DonMar A very nice contribution indeed. Needless to mention the Dylan-esque characteristics, but a vocal colour that reminds me more of Kenny Rogers to be honest. I'm not sure if that will be much of an epiphany. I keep wondering who that very mysterious singer is, as I'm scouring for his magic signature in the pots and pans of the kitchen. I suspect it must be all over the place, so if I keep searching...
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #7 on: May 03, 2019, 10:30:29
« Last Edit: May 03, 2019, 10:59:41 by Leonard Scaper »
@DonMar .........I like these lyrics a lot. They  definitely convey our very human struggle toward self awareness.......always almost there. I can relate. You definitely made excellent use of those magic words.

I think your Colllaborateur "X" did a decent job of capturing your intent, but I keep hearing a slightly irreverent edge in his somewhat jaunty send-up. I can't help but wonder how these excellent lyrics would sound if presented in a more thought provoking musical vehicle.

Still, I must disagree a bit with @Dutchbeat in that I like the way he starts the song with that single acoustic guitar and then builds it ever so gradually until there seem to be 7 or 8 elements playing at once in that final chorus. That's pretty cool. I may try that kind of approach myself in my next production.

Oh, and I also like how he tucks himself, vocally, into that musical wave......even to the point of letting it crash over him at the end as the whole thing breaks on the shore .  :D

 ;)

 8)


Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #8 on: May 03, 2019, 20:10:39
A very nice music to listen to  ::Rachel::
There is a peaceful and peaceful atmosphere
A good vibration is perceived
Very good work  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #9 on: May 03, 2019, 20:13:27
ha @Leonard Scaper , great review...

to be honest.....i was... convinced that you were collaborator X on this track   :o :o :o you made with @DonMar
in fact i was just about to bet a kilo bag of wine gums on it with @Pleudoniem
but apparently i was wrong  :P :P :P

as for your disagreeing with @Dutchbeat....i think he would indeed approach your track differently... if he would get his hands on the stems  8) 8) 8) ..... he would probably start with a full blown chorus and try to stack more things on top of that from there....
he is terrible... :blackgrin: :blackgrin: :blackgrin: don't ever let him remix one of your tracks @Leonard Scaper


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #10 on: May 03, 2019, 22:19:21
This is a weird new forum member - @Santa Claus  -  are we being spoofed?

@Pleudoniem - Kenny Rogers - surely you ate too much winegums? Or can you give a link to one of Kenny's tracks you have in mind?


Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #11 on: May 03, 2019, 22:42:42
« Last Edit: May 03, 2019, 22:56:02 by Pleudoniem »
@oorlab All of them! Say a little magic word and you'll hear it just like I do.

Winegums are weapons of war. I don't eat them, I spray them into dramatic adversaries such as @Dutchbeat used to be before the treaty and the cease-fire.

@Santa Claus Shouldn't you be summer-sleeping?


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Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #12 on: May 03, 2019, 23:11:07
« Last Edit: May 03, 2019, 23:15:09 by Dutchbeat »
wine gum duel! @Pleudoniem

forget about the treaty and the cease fire

you asked for it  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #13 on: May 03, 2019, 23:28:27
« Last Edit: May 04, 2019, 00:02:10 by Pleudoniem »
@Dutchbeat Mwah, easy to counter.



Why have you suddenly turned violent again? Is it all because you didn't know the meaning of the word 'epiphany'?

I will just mercilessly swing them back to you. Eat THIIS!



Re: One Epiphany Short ('Magic Words' Challenge)
Reply #14 on: May 05, 2019, 23:46:38
Spring has arrived and collaborations and other pleasing inventions multiply. I see that Mr. X has made his own .....
Congratulations to both @DonMar  and Mr. X  @Leonard Scaper

The lyrics have a style that I like and I have tasted and reread calmly, envisioning the images. I have not found any word that was not adjusted to the story and that is wealth.
It has been a great pleasure to read it.

Leonard's voice  (I loved it when he made a second voice) has rejuvenated in its tone, molding itself to the musical cadence of each phrase and softening the energetic guitar
By the way, the sound of the guitars is fantastic, as always and then there is the dance, that rhythm that sometimes plays at being a waltz ...

Very good good job. Congratulations to both of you. ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
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