• Play In The Ruins
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Play In The Ruins
on: August 15, 2019, 03:19:57
The title phrase sounded happy/sad when I thought of it, so the song followed that feeling.
In some ways a follow up from my last song about parenting.
The bridge ended up in a slightly unusual place in the song- lyrically it had to be there or not at all-any thoughts on that are appreciated.

https://soundcloud.com/user-564042721/play-in-the-ruins   




     Play In The Ruins

boats of sticks and hollow shoes
eyes of grey race eyes of blue
the river takes all you`ve won

throwing mud into the light
propeller arms no more fight
father carries the son

nothing more to be done
we play
play in the ruins

so the days tumble down
running through this scowling town
angels of rain will overcome

draw balloons in scrapbook clouds
write something the heart allows
father`s stories of the son

nothing more to be done
we play
play in the ruins

torn up ticket for someplace new
eyes of grey face eyes of blue
patch the pieces into a song

all borne away in time
leaving only love
behind the saintly moon
gather in remembered rooms
father carried by the son

nothing more to be done
we play
play in the ruins
play
play in the ruins

© Robert Cordrey July, 2019


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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #1 on: August 15, 2019, 07:02:57
« Last Edit: August 15, 2019, 15:37:25 by LePlongeur »
I listened with mouth slightly open. And believe me, my age has nothing to do with that.
Love the no frills attack. Or approach.
Love the harmonies that put a pleasant spell over it all.
Love the very sensitive (but not cheaply weepy because children blah blah) lyrics.
Love the soft repetition and specially small children love recurring melody lines. Repetition in general.
What’s there not to love.

If this were my song, I wouldn’t change a thing.
When did you develop this handwriting or was it always your forte?
I’ll be looking out for your next @robertkc .
Kind regards, Gus



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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #2 on: August 15, 2019, 16:46:50
This song is SO good....it hits me just right.

The two things that make this so special to me are the understated guitar throughout and your emotive vocals. You really reach down inside for some of those delivered lines.

I also love the percussion and how it sneaks in like that. Nice secondary guitar work as well.

I think the bridge works fine just where it is. It comes as a perfect surprise near the end like that.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #3 on: August 15, 2019, 17:20:14
hi @robertkc , this is soooo  good, in my opinion  :ok: :ok: :ok: :ok: :ok: It sounds so nice, emotions come across over here, even in the form of....goosebumps... ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: :yes: :yes: :yes:

your voice is excellent on this, and so is the music!!!

you may perhaps not like this, but i hear something that sounds like...(the best of) Chris deBurgh , you know....the lady in Red, for instance, it is in some of the vocal melody turns and the percussion that give me that resemblance


awesome @robertkc  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #4 on: August 15, 2019, 19:28:59
Well done @robertkc

As I put on SoundCloud  "Top bit of songwriting mate" . This will be on my 'Eclectic Music Connections' list tomorrow.

Everything just works, from the intimate Vox, the great backing Vox, the percussion, guitar, the pedal steel, the whole package.

Keep on creating like this.... you've found the mother load

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::



"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #5 on: August 16, 2019, 19:37:25
@LePlongeur Thank you for those comments. "Love the very sensitive (but not cheaply weepy because children blah blah) lyrics." You made my day with that!
 I`ve written a few songs in this vein and know its a fine line between sincerity and milking sentiment.
Not sure what you meant by my  "handwriting".. maybe writing style?... anyhoo, I`ll try to keep `em coming.

@Leonard Scaper  I appreciate your comment on the vocals- my voice can get too affected by emotion on some songs so its good to hear this one connects without getting ragged.
Glad the bridge placement sounds ok.

@Dutchbeat  Don`t mind the comparison at all - I remember I liked a few Chris DeBurgh songs. Thanks for all the thumbs up!

@MrBouzouki   That`s very kind ! I`m glad of the repost to your Eclectic set (nice idea-to have a separate account -helping promote others through your connections).

Robert







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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #6 on: August 17, 2019, 05:55:29
@robertkc

Robert, that is a very cool song, the bridge didn`t throw me off any.
the guitar playing was a highlight for me, very good. I think it was imperfect and thats
what made it so cool, good tempo in this too.   just my thought.     Lane


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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #7 on: August 17, 2019, 06:54:46
Sorry for the confusion @robertkc
A thumbprint, fingerprint, handwriting. All efforts to try and describe what is coming from your heart and what makes you stand out.
It is what makes you recognizable.
When I put you in front of a blackboard, and you close your eyes you subconsciously make the same line over and over again.
Just like your literally own handwriting, yours alone.
I am proud of my handwriting and my suggestion would be that you do the same. Because it’s fantastic.
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #8 on: August 17, 2019, 13:56:10
Magnificent lyrics, poetic, descriptive, emotional and full of way. In addition to all this you have achieved, in my opinion, a great sound that makes your song important. I love the picture of the 2 hands, boy and man @robertkc  ::thumb::
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
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https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #9 on: August 17, 2019, 16:08:29
A very nice song lyrics and very well orchestral organized. Nice Vocal and chorus arrangement in combination with the slide guitar fill inn.
 – sometimes it can be extremely complicated to make things simple - you just done it and I like it a lot. 


Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #10 on: August 18, 2019, 21:33:06
Great songwriting @robertkc ... clean tasty production. I agree with all of the other posts. Each line in the lyrics produces clear imagery with a very few words, so difficult (especially over several verses) and so effective.

The background vocals sound great but panned right? I kept wanting them to surround me from behind in the space.

Sometimes (more near the end) the percussion got a bit busy. But I really like the use of hand drums... adds to the intamcy.

In general, the mix is clean and intimate, the mood compelling, the lyrics emotional and all with a steady build that pulls the listener along.

You’ve got a Keeper there!😎


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Re: Play In The Ruins
Reply #11 on: August 19, 2019, 19:06:57
Thanks for your kind reviews @Lane , @Mora Amaro La Loba , @Krysoe
@LePlongeur  What a cool description of how our insides make patterns on the outside!
@1roomstudio  I guess the harmonies are hard panned from habit... really like your idea of changing that ( maybe spreading them with the DAW Imager). Thank you for your positive and helpful comments .

Robert



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