• Poor Little Boy
  • Started by Ehsan
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Poor Little Boy
on: June 10, 2017, 15:09:21
Hi,

I got to do a rough recording of the lyrics I'd posted earlier on. It's piano chords and vocals. I'd like to know how you guys think about it and in what ways I can improve.
The chord progression in the chorus is one of my favorites, I think it's used in Inception soundtrack.

Thanks in advance!

https://soundcloud.com/ehsanei/poor-little-boy

Poor Little Boy

(Verse 1)
A poor boy walks the cold streets under the veil of night
Mesmerized by the beauty of Christmas trees and lights

He hears a band from inside a bar playing blues and jazz
Among jokes and laughter and the sound of clinking glass

An open door gives him a chance to take a glimpse inside
To watch the joy and luxury of life on the other side

The moment doesn't last so long as a man tells him to leave
He sighs with an ache in his heart for what he can't achieve

(Chorus)
Poor little boy
Knows the world's unfair
Among a hundred passers-by
No one seems to care

Years of poverty's
Made him tough as a stone
He's come to realize God's left
These people on their own

(Verse 2)
He could dream of that fancy life a few years ago
Before his father lost his savings all in a casino

Now his little sister needs medicine, she's bedbound these days
And he would trade those fantasies for a smile upon her face

She's his only reason to live or his life would be absurd
He wants to be a flash of love in the big uncaring world

He has to stay strong and help her overcome her fears
The little boy's a real man, he's seen way more than his peers

(Chorus x2)


Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #1 on: June 10, 2017, 20:57:24
Sounds good @Ehsan ....I like the chords as well.

It's a challenge to deliver all those words smoothly put you do well at it.

I like the chorus a lot.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #2 on: June 10, 2017, 22:19:47
Thanks @Leonard Scaper::thumb::
Yeah that was really hard to sing them and breathe in the middle, especially with a mic that emphasizes all sorts of noise including my breathing!!


  • oorlab
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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #3 on: June 11, 2017, 12:11:39
sounds cool - lots of interesting ideas to build upon and expand. Quick tip - to change to another chord (possibly major) around 2.13 at the "years of poverty" - and make that sound longer.
new guitar 4-6-2020 https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/12string-demo1 12string Cort.


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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #4 on: June 11, 2017, 13:52:04
Thanks @oorlab . Good point ::thumb::


Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #5 on: June 11, 2017, 21:55:40
Really like this @Ehsan - haunting... great storytelling..


@oorlab has a good suggestion too...





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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #6 on: June 11, 2017, 22:08:18
That's great. Thank you @Zedd  ::thumb::


  • IsleofSkye
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  • (INFJ-T) - 20 yrs old and in college- how original

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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #7 on: June 12, 2017, 02:42:24
Good job with the piano bit at the end! Very memorable. I like the vocal melody over the piano chords, it gives a very emotional sound. I think if you could condense some of the phrases to be a little clearer it'd help a bit. Overall, a wonderful composition.
"When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find peace of mind is waiting there."-George Harrison


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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #8 on: June 12, 2017, 02:58:38
Thanks for your feedback @IsleofSkye  ::thumb::
Yeah It was quite a challenge for me to sing and get the timing right!


Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #9 on: June 12, 2017, 19:45:37
Interesting song .

Like how you Match the piano against a vocal narrative.

Cool pianos at the end.

Sandeep


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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #10 on: June 12, 2017, 23:24:35
Thanks. Glad you liked it  @Movin Flavour :)


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Re: Poor Little Boy
Reply #11 on: June 13, 2017, 09:22:00
Thank you for your comment @Nic !



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