• Precious Moment (Pop)
  • Started by irwin
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  • irwin
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Precious Moment (Pop)
on: June 21, 2020, 19:04:40
Hi team, Is this production decent to listen to. Let me know what you think. If you like the song's style. Looking forward to reading some opinions.

https://soundcloud.com/user-148093629/precious-moment


  • MotterPaul
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Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #1 on: June 22, 2020, 00:43:17
Can I ask this - what was your process for writing and recording this?

The melody sounds like you wrote it for a different arrangement, but then the melody was taken and given a completely different instrument arrangement.  I like the melody but I'm not sure the other parts gel with it.
I work on Protools, was a pro recording engineer for 10 years in analog. I play compose, perform record and mix everything in my recordings.


Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #2 on: June 30, 2020, 18:39:55
@irwin Nice deep music  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #3 on: July 02, 2020, 00:41:35
This has definitely an 80's feel to it.    I like your vocals overall, but I might try being a little more forceful in the chorus and possibly layer some backgrounds.   It needs a lift.     Otherwise it seems to work.


Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #4 on: July 03, 2020, 13:44:22
Hi team, Is this production decent to listen to. Let me know what you think. If you like the song's style. Looking forward to reading some opinions.

https://soundcloud.com/user-148093629/precious-moment

Claro que sí @irwin Your song is easy to listen to, why not? Actually the styles are messed in the music world so your track is enough interesting to be appreciated.


Take care!!!
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


  • gezaman
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Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #5 on: July 03, 2020, 19:36:57
It reminds me of the opening credits of movies made in the 80s and early 90s and old video games (in a good way, of course).
It is maybe a minute and a half too long as it is right know, unless you somehow manage to spice up the dynamic a bit. Cheers.


  • Tolo
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Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #6 on: July 05, 2020, 10:43:41
You probably meant it ... but it seems a little hurried to me - there is no real 'feel' at all because the kit is so metronomic. I think this is also making the vocalist hurry a little with the lyric - so I would slow it down a little and add a bit of swing. I agree that there could me some harmony work in the vocal to lift the song in places.  Other than that - it is quirky and lifts the mood!
Pro Tools 2020.5
UAD Apollo Twin Duo
Furman AC210E
10.13 High Sierra
SSD Thunderbolt Audio
i9 7900 10 Core
64G Crucial DDR4

www.tonylowther.com


  • irwin
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Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #7 on: July 09, 2020, 19:59:18
Hi MotterPaul,

Hi Marcus,

Hi Nalgaber,

Hi eblossman,

Hi Mora Amaro La Loba,

Hi gezaman, Tolo,

I am more than thankful to have heard your feedbacks folks.

As I keep persisting for reaching my goals as a songwriter.

Thanks you all so much for listening critically like that.   

Irwin



Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #8 on: July 09, 2020, 22:58:54
@irwin I think some of what I am about to say has been said before. The sounds are a bit like from an 80s videogame.They're a little reminiscent of 80s synthi-pop groups like Righeira or Freeez.

The singer is quite ok, but I get the feeling that what she does, doesn't always communicate with the music. It's as if her voice was recorded separately, and then pasted onto the track, without further modification. I think that is also what @MotterPaul is hinting at. Possibly you could move some of the vocals across the track to make them fit, or try an alternative melody?

Does this have potential? Possibly it does, but I don't think it is ready yet.

Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


Re: Precious Moment (Pop)
Reply #9 on: July 10, 2020, 06:09:39
Hi @irwin  ... I think if you gave us a little more specific information as to how you create this music we could be of more help to you!  :)
The goals of being a songwriter are great!
The specifics about where the lyrics came from, how you found the vocalist, where you got the synth parts, what instruments are you playing, what parts you played, what DAW you use when you put it all together, etc. are even better! ... especially here where friendly folks are trying to offer some help. :)   
I'm hearing a bass line in G minor, a vocal in G minor, a synth line mostly in G minor .... and yet a lot of piano chords such as C Major, E minor and A minor that are essentially foreign to what is the overall key of the song.
Perhaps you are using a notation creating program and you have left the setting to "play written chords" in the on position.  ???  If so, the simplest solution would be to turn off that setting.   ;) 
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.



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