• Pub Regulars
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  • realkevm
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  • Karma Hunter

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Pub Regulars
on: September 30, 2019, 14:00:16
So i've finally recorded a demo of this song of mine that i've had kicking around for a couple of years. I always felt there was something missing and I finally figured out what it was - it sounds a lot better in this different key lol

I'm more after critique on the song itself as the recording quality doesn't concern me at the minute as it's a first demo. Any advice on the phrasing and lyrics, how are my vocals. As I always I appreciate the time taken to have a listen to my songs.

Never seen you before but i'm sure
My dad he knows yours
As you take a drag of that fag
that's in your hand
Lipstick smudged lips look like
You've just been kissed
But that was probably an hour ago

Chorus
You look at me and you give me that glance
The one that tells me to come on take my chance
But I don't mind
No I don't move
I'm just not that into you

2nd Verse

And it's next week we must be stuck
On some kind of repeat
Because we're here again and I see your face
It must be boring cos you're clearly just ignoring
The fact that no one seems to notice you



  • oorlab
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Re: Pub Regulars
Reply #1 on: September 30, 2019, 22:56:53
digging the demo setup. I'd try a more relaxed vocal, a bit more laid back talking vibe like in the chorus of - Flash n the Pan - St Peter
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


  • realkevm
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Re: Pub Regulars
Reply #2 on: October 01, 2019, 23:00:14
Thanks @oorlab appreciate you offering up this critique i'll look into it man


  • Leonard Scaper
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Re: Pub Regulars
Reply #3 on: October 02, 2019, 16:31:13
I think it's a good song. The imagery in the first verse sets the whole song up nicely. I think you just need to sing it a  bunch of times and concentrate on your phrasing to really make the delivery work.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


  • realkevm
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Re: Pub Regulars
Reply #4 on: October 05, 2019, 09:23:33
Thanks @Leonard Scaper you are right about the phrasing, listening back it needs work, thank you!