• SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
  • Started by Rachel_D
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
  • Rachel_D
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • Music is what feelings sound like

    • 1005


    • 591
    • Today at 08:53:40
    • Malta
  • more
SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
on: November 23, 2017, 00:24:29
Hey kitcheners! :)

It feels like ages since I last posted a new poem-song on this board.... So it felt fantastic to have a new one pop in my head today... it was one of those which come out almost 'automatically' and I was really excited to record it and share it with you :) ...this is a quick and rough recording and I added some harmonies to it ... (and it's also the first time that I pressed the 'famous' compress button .... to see what happens  :D :P) ... Here are the lyrics (see below). Looking forward to reading your thoughts :)

Rachel

LINK: https://soundcloud.com/rachel_debattista/secret-love

You make me want to dance
Even though I donít know the steps
You make me forget all the work and stress

Falling down the shadows
Is a no-go zone
Now (that) youíre here

The rhythm is a blockbuster journey
In a moonlit street
Shattering issues and constructing dreams

Falling out of happiness
Is far from here
Now (that) youíre near

You make me want to sing
Even though I donít know the words
Fly down the staircase
And smile to the world

Everyone is giving me that
puzzled look Ė like 'whatís up'?

Öbut youíre my secret love

Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


  • Leonard Scaper
  • Global Moderator
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Guest Chef

    • 3975


    • 1148
    • Today at 11:06:10
    • Terra Firma
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #1 on: November 23, 2017, 10:50:10
Great effervescent little number @Rachel_D ........it just kind of bubbles up and out. As a sketch I am hearing a ton of cool possibilities for expansion. Love the harmonies.

Careful with that compress button....one you stat it's hard to stop.  ;)

 :) :) :)
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


  • MichaelA
  • Chef de Partie
  • *
  • Songwriting Addict

    • 976


    • 426
    • August 31, 2019, 23:25:43
    • Somewhere near Liverpool, UK
    • HTTPS//:soundcloud.com/Michael-a-duffy
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #2 on: November 23, 2017, 10:55:53
Hi @Rachel_D , it's funny how songs just come along in an instance and others take age to sort out. I'm glad this one came to you by way of inspiration! It's like a quick splash of colour on the canvas, rather than an elaborate painting. But I do like its immediacy and how it quickly gets to the point.

Being old fashioned (!) I would have liked it to carry on for longer, but I can't deny it's a fab little sketch as is. You've got a lovely voice and those harmonies really lift it too. Hopefully we'll be hearing more from you now that you are getting back into the groove!  ;)
If you like novels with a musical theme, why not try 'Sixth Beatle - When Music Changed The World', easily found on Amazon and Google. It is amazing, although as the author I may be biased!


Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #3 on: November 23, 2017, 14:13:44
That has real potential and was a very nice introduction fro me to your music. 


  • Dutchbeat
  • MADministrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • If you can stand the Beat, get into the Kitchen!

    • 8951


    • 1430
    • Today at 09:59:59
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #4 on: November 23, 2017, 17:33:50
hi @Rachel_D , that is very nice indeed, nice vocals and all kinds of hooks....are you going to develop this further?

 ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6698


    • 1671
    • Yesterday at 18:58:59
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #5 on: November 23, 2017, 21:38:11
Heeey @Rachel_D,

Great to see you're recording music again!! That was a while ago we heard a new
poem song from Malta!
I love the always optimistic 'fantasy' like 'dreams' that live in your poems. Always
makes me happy when I listen.
Nice experiments with vocal layers, and the words flow very well imo.
Enjoyed the listen!

Cheers!! :bloodymarti:
:mart:
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


  • Rachel_D
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • Music is what feelings sound like

    • 1005


    • 591
    • Today at 08:53:40
    • Malta
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #6 on: November 26, 2017, 21:48:35
Heyy @Leonard Scaper , @DavidHutton , @Dutchbeat  and @Mar T.  - thanks so much for listening! :D it was great to read your positive feedback and that you're seeing potential for development :)

I agree that it would be nice to get a longer version of it :) I'm generally unsure how to go about extending such a song. And it's not something that i usually do. But it would be interesting to try it out... with reference to arrangement -do you think it misses verses? Should the long version still start with a lot of energy? And maybe have a drop later? ...and do you have any other tips and ideas that could be of help?



  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6698


    • 1671
    • Yesterday at 18:58:59
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #7 on: November 26, 2017, 23:30:57
@Rachel_D , now these are difficult questions.. Imo you should stay in control of the choices.
I find the concept 'Poem Song' very interesting, and very creative! Nobody (I know of) is creating Poem Songs! If I'm right (correct me if I'm wrong) your poem songs share the same 'structure' and I'm always sorry it's so short. But hey, that's the consequence of using this concept. What I love is that this concept is different, and it identifies your style. So I'd stick to this structure because it's at the core of the concept you invented.
My suggestion would be to try different, more complex chords to build chord progressions with, imo that can make the short poem songs even more interesting. I know you've been studying music theory online courses lately, I'd try to apply something you've been studying to the chords you're using. I hope that's a helpful pointer.. Of course feel free to ignore!
Cheers dear Rachel!
:mart:


  • Leonard Scaper
  • Global Moderator
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Guest Chef

    • 3975


    • 1148
    • Today at 11:06:10
    • Terra Firma
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #8 on: November 27, 2017, 14:24:21
Should the long version still start with a lot of energy? And maybe have a drop later? ...and do you have any other tips and ideas that could be of help?

Just listened again @Rachel_D .

Definitely keep that energy in there right from the start. I was thinking that after that "You make me want to sing verse" you could open things up with a dancing type piano instrumental that gets the energy really going even more before bring it back down to some sort of bridge/chorus and then another verse....something along those lines.


  • nagne
  • Saucier
  • *
  • Karma hunter

    • 29


    • 21
    • January 15, 2018, 23:09:09
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #9 on: November 28, 2017, 03:42:13
What a great piece of prelude you have there! If you're going for a full piece, this could serve as the last minute of your song. So for me, what you have now is your chorus (0:00 to 0:45) so you need one or two verses that could go between. So much potential! I really enjoyed it.


  • MrBouzouki
  • Global Moderator
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • *
  • "Let the Creators Create" :-)

    • 1397


    • 552
    • Today at 11:09:50
    • Sheffield, UK
    • https://www.facebook.com/Mr.Bouzouki.Music/ https://www.youtube.com/user/MisterBouzouki https://soundcloud.com/mrbouzouki
  • more
Re: SECRET love - Poem-song!! :)
Reply #10 on: November 28, 2017, 16:17:09
I like the vibe with this. Later on it reminded me of 'Tainted Love' by Soft Cell for some reason. If definitely needs extending as it feels like it's heading somewhere, and the listener wants to know what happens, will the secret love remain secret or will this love be broadcasted to the world by the end of the song. 

I think @Leonard Scaper is onto something with his suggestion @Rachel_D

Real potential with this song I think.
"Love and Life is all about connections"



wink
Love Is Easy - Secret message???

Started by BumbleWasps on Lyrics

2 Replies
692 Views
Last post September 07, 2016, 18:35:24
by Dutchbeat
smiley
I like You (Rough poem song)

Started by Rachel_D on Songs for review

5 Replies
599 Views
Last post April 20, 2017, 22:42:05
by revivalchoir
xx
Perfect - poem-song

Started by Rachel_D on Songs for review

7 Replies
336 Views
Last post March 27, 2019, 13:23:39
by Kellyanneg
xx
Away from it all (new rough poem-song)

Started by Rachel_D on Songs for review

45 Replies
2026 Views
Last post December 21, 2015, 20:42:20
by Dutchbeat
smiley
Jukebox of my soul (poem-song)

Started by Rachel_D on Songs for review

14 Replies
670 Views
Last post January 17, 2019, 22:15:18
by Rachel_D