• See You First
  • Started by Rightly
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  • Rightly
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See You First
on: April 25, 2019, 13:05:57
I wrote this some time ago but didn't record it with the guitar.
Luckily I remembered the chords and it became one my very first cubase treatments.
I remember being quite overwhelmed with the new possibilities with using a good quality DAW.

The song itself deals with the feelings I had concerning my live performances and the negativity that came from my self designated competitors.
It was a difficult time for me. I was hoping to find kindred spirits.

I hope you can enjoy the song  and would be happy to hear any feedback.


https://soundcloud.com/rightly/see-you-first




The lyrics:
 


see you first
 



    a good axe, a fine form and a full house

  can you dig this scene of clockwork clowns?

    little hierarchies 'mongst the mediocre

 I'm all too often hit when this stuff comes down

        watch that river running in reverse

 you will not see me, not if I should see you first
 
                            -

  the brothel basement, walled in, tortured soul

      blind to beauty from pillar to post

sings like a cowboy, never once saw a horse

'standing in what looks like bordelaise sauce

should you think that it could get no worse

  you don't phase me, not in any universe

                               -

         walk barefoot n' I've  got dirty feet

                 like any sailor far away from sea
       
                               -

  with a little love, what is there to lose?

      no one going nowhere no time soon

    inane skeletons, all poised for conquest

     n' falling nothing short of the burlesque

         over-hyped, deluded amateurs

we'll step outside, I'll take anything that hurts

                                -

            watching the river run in reverse

         you will not see me, not if I should see you first
_____________________________________



Rightly



____


  • Leonard Scaper
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Re: See You First
Reply #1 on: April 25, 2019, 13:11:29
Fantastic lyrics, Rightly! Just those first two lines....and especially...

can you dig this scene of clockwork clowns

I can identify.

This song is extremely Dylan-esque.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: See You First
Reply #2 on: April 26, 2019, 10:09:58
@Rightly, that driving percussion really pulls you into the piece. Hypnotic!  Vocals sound good.

Vivid storytelling in the form of imagery. Lots of memorable lines. Among them, 'little hierarchies 'mongst the mediocre', 'scene of clockwork clowns', and of course the hook line itself, 'you won't see me, not if I see you first'.

Nice work.  :)

Donna
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Re: See You First
Reply #3 on: April 26, 2019, 23:13:33
@Rightly  - wonderful. Liking the tone and humor in the lyrics : sings like a cowboy, never once saw a horse

Funny breaks too. The drums might be a bit different under the vocals - less ticking sounds. But that is just a thought...
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: See You First
Reply #4 on: April 27, 2019, 21:22:08
hi @Rightly
this song sounds good, with some weird accents  ??? ??? ???
nice songwriting, nice atmosphere, although sad.... with edges of happiness

and...weird...breaks  :ok: ;D ;D ;D :ok: :ok: :ok:
 :o :o :o :o

nice  ::headphone::
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: See You First
Reply #5 on: April 27, 2019, 21:41:36
Those lyrics are great @Rightly

for some reason an extra line of

can you dig this scene of clockwork clowns?  ... "going through the motions" popped into my head ;-)

I get @oorlab 's comment about the ticking drums

I'd like to hear more bass ... it's calling out for a Pleudoniem bassline to my ears

"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: See You First
Reply #6 on: April 28, 2019, 20:43:19
Fantastic lyrics, Rightly! Just those first two lines....and especially...

can you dig this scene of clockwork clowns

I can identify.

This song is extremely Dylan-esque.

Thanks for commenting Leonard.
My Dylan phase did last a few years but I've also read heaps of poetry (like Dylan).
He was influential  by being literate.

This was a fairly fast write. I was genuinely pissed at the folks around me at the time.
Once visiting a friend he started arguing violently with his wife. She was quite physical.
I had a fit of writing a few verses. I felt a bit guilty sticking about writing the verses but I certainly don't regret it.