• shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
  • Started by man of simple pleasures
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shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
on: June 08, 2019, 20:59:48
« Last Edit: June 08, 2019, 22:04:25 by man of simple pleasures »
alrite rock n rollers heres my go at the magic words challenge, very rough take of the song though!

let me know what you all think , i managed to get 5 words in there haha - reverie, labrinth, phoenix, ripple and rendevouz, cheers!

http://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures/shine-a-love-demo

see the love shine
in your eyes,
feels like lightning
as it strike a hold on me

the sunshine lady with
the beat of her soul,
smiles with the devil
she dance and sets you free

she’l leave a ripple in the sands,
lost into that reverie....
without warning...  she will come around

she steal a labyrinth in the sky,
rising to that reveire...
she come calling...  you will come around

and shine a little love and keep it real
and dont look back just keep it sealed
in time....

come on and light a little love, it will burn inside
so keep the rythmn moving and we come alive
tonight....

see the love shine
in your eyes,
feels like lightning
as it strike a hold on me

the sunshine lady with
the beat of her soul,
smiles with the devil
she dance and sets you free

she’l live and hold a rendevous,
lost into that reveire...
without warning...  she will come around

she’s like a phoenix in the fire,
rising to that reverie....
she come calling...  you will come around

and shine a little love and keep it real
and dont look back just keep it sealed
in time....

come on and light a little love, it will burn inside
so keep the rythmn moving and we come alive
tonight....

shine a little love and keep it real
and dont look back just keep it sealed
in time

http://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures/shine-a-love-demo

fly away and find my peace of mind...
http://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #1 on: June 08, 2019, 21:35:24
ahh..cool

but @man of simple pleasures ...i can not play the track on your Soundcloud... ???

it doesn't run ..for me... ??? ::) ::)
me, myself, and Pie


Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #2 on: June 08, 2019, 22:16:21
updated the link should work now  ::thumb:: @Dutchbeat


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #3 on: June 09, 2019, 11:57:54
Enjoyed the lyrics @man of simple pleasures  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

There is an interesting story to it and it also made me play out the scenes in my mind. Great stuff. ::headphone::

Think the song deserves a fuller arrangement though, as much as it still works with an acoustic guitar and vocals only...  I imagined it slightly different sounding, having read the lyrics first. The melody is there, just would wanna hear more of it.

Hope you find the time and make it a little less rough, think it has potential.

 ::Rachel::
/Micke
Layerson (a.k.a. Mikael Lagersson)


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #4 on: June 09, 2019, 11:58:17
Hi @man of simple pleasures

You've done a good job of integrating the magic words in the lyrics.
I quite like the percussive guitar ideas, you should keep that if you have time to develop it further.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::

 
"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #5 on: June 09, 2019, 19:47:30
ha @man of simple pleasures , a good song for the magic words challenge  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: that @DonMar started

and indeed also a song that could have a bigger arrangment, like @Layerson says, fat drums! and a bass line

with that hypnotic chords riff  going on ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

nice one  :ok:


Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #6 on: June 09, 2019, 20:14:32
This style, this sound and this atmosphere has taken me to the 70's
The effects of the voice in some moments bring it closer to our days and that is very good.
Congratulations for this good work  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #7 on: June 10, 2019, 09:01:56
I love it very very much!
The Donovan Leitch's/Nick Drakes of this world gave us tons of beauty with sparse backing and there's no reason (I think) for you to invest time in things you clearly don't want.

Full arangements is for pussies.
Hey, I am going to listen again and if i remember my SC password I touch the heart there too.
In other words I like it.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #8 on: June 10, 2019, 12:06:21
@man of simple pleasures  - good idea to keep it bare. Love the line "she dance and sets you free

she’l leave a ripple in the sands,
lost into that reverie.."
where you let the rhyme pass ovcer to the next verse.

Repeating and rehearsing will pay of!
Good luck
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #9 on: June 11, 2019, 13:50:13
Great job @man of simple pleasures - nice creative way to use those words.

I like your singing and delivery on this and I'm in two minds re: the arrangement. I think it works with just an acoustic but with maybe less percussion?

The percussion is what (for me) makes it sound like it also needs a bass or another guitar.

I'm not sure you need the double tracked vocals at 2.10 - or maybe reduce the reverb a little?

Good luck in the comp!

cheers


Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #10 on: June 11, 2019, 18:47:52
Good song and I like the simple unplugged recording @man of simple pleasures ... if I had more guts I`d put some of my own songs out like this.  The chorus is catchy and you used the magic words well ( its ok- 5 was all you need!)
As  @oorlab  says, a few more runs through ... I think its a keeper.

Robert


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #11 on: June 12, 2019, 08:23:22
Back again for another dose! @man of simple pleasures
Love it to pieces.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #12 on: June 12, 2019, 13:56:00
Using five words only is perfectly fine, @man of simple pleasures. You made a good choice, and sometimes less is more in any case.  ;)

Nice imagery, and pretty melody. I can bounce along - gently - to it.  :)

DonMar
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #13 on: June 13, 2019, 20:10:15
hi @man of simple pleasures

Very nice song, just like this, your guitar and the voice... but, of course, an arrangement could give it another colour, another presence...  ::thumb::
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
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https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
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https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


Re: shine a a love (demo) - magic words challenge
Reply #14 on: June 17, 2019, 06:05:16
Hey @man of simple pleasures   ... it's good to hear you again! Nice lyrics there. Fine imagery and very organic use of the magic words.
Good show!
-11 ::Note::
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.



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