Author Topic: Skin (demo)  (Read 941 times)

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Offline tuff bransch

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2017, 14:58:26 »
thanx @denizensdeep !

@M57 thank you!

i hear a full setting with mellow drums, bass, guitar and maby a cello playing the humming parts and some pads in the background
in my head.

about the lyrics. your the second person reacting to how different the verses is from the choruses. i think ill fix it with a bridge into the chorus
making the ride a bit more understandable. the verses are too subtle but my love for her is in there somewhere.. or at least i hope.

by the way, i once tried to sing elton johns rocket man. checked up the lyrics and everything. i found the lyrics superwierd to sing yet when he sings it it sounds so very natural.

and yes. to me the last part of the last verse.

>or somehow keep them out of sight

is the worst part. was really scratching my head to come up with something there that actually meant something. advice are welcome!
there are some other places where the words are a little squeezed in there but i think ill leave most of it. 

Offline tuff bransch

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #16 on: August 12, 2017, 12:45:37 »
updated with a kitchen session added to the original post... :)

Offline ajwvdberg

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #17 on: August 12, 2017, 21:51:12 »
Great song! Well done man!

Offline sully

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2017, 21:10:04 »
Enjoyed listening to that, really like your voice.

Offline tuff bransch

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #19 on: February 07, 2018, 00:30:05 »
really old track and thread but looking for some help for the final recording of this song on friday!
looking forward to see whats happened here too! so the ticket to answering is to
add your favourite track/thread during the last few months here mmk?

ok. heres the new lyrics. arrows on the new parts. (dont care much about the spelling)
feel free to comment on the original lyrics too.   <3 <3 <3


>moved out in january broke up in february     
>itll help you to talk things through and crying a little too        <--- "and crying" instead of "maby crying" ..?

>you know im here to lean on though im in between carry on       
>but certinly i am not the one to be claiming that he
>ever did much wrong

>he wont be there tomorrow its gonna shake your world so
>think things through and remember who did the right thing to do

>in time youll know its right since you can hardly compromice with
>all the space you need and the one you wanna be was it indeed
>meant to fall apart
                       
>the stars are shining oh so bright
>the winds drying your tears as im
>the comfort by your listless side            <------ took the decending into space and time away... due to complaints :) wierd? works?
>skin can never rip apart what was broken from the start

>the rough and stormy weather you were walking through together
>seen it all, ive followed from every thing youve told

>i must admit i always felt somewhat outside those days
>and the demons i had to try and fight them out come to terms   <---- come to terms mend and leave behind.     works?
>mend and leave behind                                                               <---- mend might be a bit on the heavy side so i gladly take suggestions

>if you could read the palm of my hand it surely would have told you         <--- this whle part is new.                                                     
>but the cracks and dents in your heart would crunch if i could hold you    <---
>and i know im not at all what you want with everything you go through  <---
>but possibly hopefully eventually i guess its time i told you please just let me hold you <---   

>the stars are shining oh so bright
>the winds drying your tears as im
>the comfort by your listless side     

>the stars are shining oh so bright
>the winds drying your tears as im
>decending into space and time     
>skin can never rip apart what was broken from the start



Offline Bill from November Sound

Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #20 on: February 07, 2018, 14:16:30 »
Hi @tuff bransch ,
I might not be the best to help you.... hopefully others will join.

 Anyway this:
Quote
the stars are shining oh so bright
>the winds drying your tears as im
>the comfort by your listless side     
doesn't really make sense if you read it as a sentence like .... "The winds drying your tears as I'm the comfort by your listless side. "  ??? 

I prefer this the way it was:

Quote
the stars are shining oh so bright
the winds drying your tears as im
decending into space and time     
skin can never rip apart what was broken from the start

You're talking about: stars, wind, space, time, skin ...something ripped, broken 
... to me it kind of works because line 1=space, line 2= earth, line 3=space, line 4 = earth.
I suppose we need to know what you are trying to say in the chorus as the lyric is kind of cryptic but... that's how art should be. :)

btw - Your performance on these demo songs is just excellent! I wish you the best of luck with your final recording!  :)
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

Offline tuff bransch

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2018, 20:15:08 »
hi @Bill from November Sound ! thanx so much for the answer! ive got some clue of where im going with that part.. :)

and! one thing ive always wondered. are you the left or the right guy on your soundcloudprofile? 

yes its kind of cryptical but thats what i thaught too when i wrote it.. that its ok for it to be...

thanx for wishing me luck... could go either way! :)


Offline junemay

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #22 on: February 07, 2018, 20:18:53 »
Hi @tuff bransch ,

in case you need a piano on the song let me know.

Best,

Fabian

Offline MrBouzouki

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #23 on: February 07, 2018, 21:55:05 »
I'm resting after a busy day working so the words are just flying through my head without them really registering. So I won't mention them instead I just wanted to say the overall melody just hits the spot for me. It just seems a really honest song and I love the fill-in bits too. Make sure you carry on with this as the melody on it's own really works for me and sometimes for songwriters it's an afterthought compared to the words.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::
"Love and Life is all about connections"

Offline tuff bransch

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Re: Skin (demo)
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2018, 22:57:54 »
@Bill from November Sound i already found the answer! :)

@junemay no piano on this one unfortunately but thanx so much!

@MrBouzouki <3 scrolled down and found winter lullaby. just so perfect for this cold and snowy winter.



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