• Song for review (on SoundCloud)
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Song for review (on SoundCloud)
on: February 26, 2019, 00:13:57
Here's a short acoustic song I wrote this morning that I would love some reviews for <3

https://soundcloud.com/rippripp/osweetsun

o sweet sun it seems ive got a
foot in the grave
i still feel you but
the warmth it fades

illuminate a path for me
ive been in the dark too long
moonlight burns the fire of a star
sunlight's far too strong

for my eyes i close them
walk straight blind
stuck in the middle
of my own damned mind
good friends i have them
have good times
and we walk in the middle
of the street in line

{chrorus}
when did the middle get so far off
earth is a city with no salt trucks
in a goddam blizzard in a blazing fire
oh new york city buildings oh so high

oh when has fighting and crying not led to themselves
oh feelings are normal but dwelling in them is not well

i broke ribs on a evergreen
but i donít know what it means
cuz i donít know anything
starin up at the tops of trees
and i still got breath
but i still cant breathe

images in my head it seems
tryna tell me what i need but i never see Ďem
i hear beats in my head and i try to be Ďem
but i lie beat in my bed and i never dream

do you feel like you know me
have i asked you your name before


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Re: Song for review (on SoundCloud)
Reply #1 on: February 26, 2019, 15:41:11
VERY cool tune! I love everything about this....from your unique vocal presentation right down to the string noises.

Great set of lyrics as well......needs two listens with some careful reading on the second time around.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Song for review (on SoundCloud)
Reply #2 on: February 26, 2019, 23:48:30
Hi @Jon ,

I love this! :D ...This is really my kind of songwriting.... Very cool use of words and their sounds! ... I especially like your brilliant build up from the first to the third stanzas.... and the contrast in the chorus works nicely... it made me hit the replay button several times.

...the last stanzas do get a bit blurry and lost... but perhaps that's intentional.

Intriguing & mysterious...you got me hooked ....I need to listen to more of your songs,

See you around,
Rachel
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


Re: Song for review (on SoundCloud)
Reply #3 on: March 01, 2019, 15:06:46
I like your idea and the development of the song and the story. As I have mentioned on other occasions, your style is very personal and identifiable = @Jon
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


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Re: Song for review (on SoundCloud)
Reply #4 on: March 01, 2019, 16:35:49
You write: I would love some reviews for <3
Now, you already have more than 3 reviews, so may I assume that mine isnít needed?
Well, in that case I wish you a very nice weekend.
(But yes, I like the music too).
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Song for review (on SoundCloud)
Reply #5 on: March 01, 2019, 17:13:26
@Jon, Loved it! Wanted to hear more!
Do what makes your heart sing :)


Re: Song for review (on SoundCloud)
Reply #6 on: March 01, 2019, 17:34:21
Great track,  live everything about it.



xx
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