• Starboy and Moonman
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Starboy and Moonman
on: November 24, 2018, 22:37:23
Hello everyone,

This song is born of a conversation I had with my 3 year old son recently. Iím a window cleaner by trade and he thinks that I also clean the moon!! ;D

The song is wierd in terms of structure...the hooks wierd...but I wanted to have a beat in there that my boy might actually wanna shake his little butt too! Haha!

All thoughts are welcome and thanks as always.

https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/starboy-and-moonman

Lyrics.

Last night my three year old came marching up to me
He said daddy you clean the moon right?
And I was like, yeah thatís what I do....I clean the moon!
He said well next time you go, Iím coming too...

Listen daddy Iím serious, Iíve been a busy boy!
Iíve been practicing on all my cars, cleaning all my toys
Iíve made them nice and shiny, and I think Iím ready!
Plus mummy says you can use the help
Sheíll hold the ladder steady.

I wanna climb high, up there with you
And make the world a little brighter just like you do
And when we have cleaned the moon...Iíll clean the stars
You can keep the moon daddy...I want the stars!

I know itís very high and space pirates fill the sky
But Iím not scared of them, no daddy, Iíve got Bonkers and you
And I know Kung Fu! ....right.

Well then if thatís the case my boy youíve got the job.
Come meet me by my ladder, donít forget your hat and scarf
Cos itís cold up there and dangerous sometimes
But I know pirates donít like dinosaurs, so they wonít steal our shine.

Come on letís climb high, Iíll show you the view
You make the whole world brighter, by just being you
And when we have cleaned the moon and it shines like the sun
If you want the stars....you take Ďem.  :)


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Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #1 on: November 25, 2018, 00:07:51
I really love how this whole thing sounds. When those harmonies come in I'm thinking Simon & Garfunkel. Love how that guitar maintains the flow.

Great little spot at Kung Fu....seriously, man, this song is seriously good.

Great song, great vocals, great mix.......

"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #2 on: November 25, 2018, 00:48:11
@LostBoy  The lyrics read quite well, by that I mean telling the story , and I totally agree with Lenny.

Vince


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Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #3 on: November 25, 2018, 01:18:29
« Last Edit: November 25, 2018, 17:47:31 by Lane »
@LostBoy    sorry I posted this under another name, ...so did the boy sit on your lap? in a chair next to you? that has to be
so much fun for him..


thats a very cool song, nice vocals, solid song. whats the boy say? has he heard this?


Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #4 on: November 25, 2018, 12:03:02
This is lovely and touching Vince.  Your vocals are wonderful.  At first the fact that the vocal "instrumentals" were on too different vowels while singing in homophonic fashion bothered me.  Usually, that's a no-no and can contribute less of a sense blend and chordal intelligibility - but then I got to thinking that one is the boy and one is Dad.

My only nit, and it's subjective to be sure.  In the lower harmony, when you sing the C natural, it creates a tritone with the F# above it. An awkward interval, and not as pretty as I would prefer it to be in a song like this.  Instead of singing G D C B, I would recommend G D D B.  This has the added benefit of adding some oblique motion http://openmusictheory.com/motionTypes.html to the parts, making them more interesting - As it is, right now, everything is either parallel or similar.   Anyways, just my nerdy opinion.  I'm all for breaking rules, especially when it's intentional.  Really, this is lovely.


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Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #5 on: November 25, 2018, 12:36:43
Cleaverly wrapped around your kids idea.
Sounds Great. A Very fine piece of work. Love it.
(Why the capitals all of a sudden???)
Iíll give it another spin.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #6 on: November 25, 2018, 13:52:10
Hi Leo, this is a really sweet idea, well executed of course. There aren't really that many songs that are going to strike a chord with young families and this could be a nice avenue for you to further explore now and again.

Your voice with its gentle edge really suited the innocence of this. Very lovely piece of work, mate, well done.

If you like novels with a musical theme, why not try 'Sixth Beatle - When Music Changed The World', easily found on Amazon and Google. It is amazing, although as the author I may be biased!


Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #7 on: November 25, 2018, 18:29:07
@LostBoy  There aren`t many songs that make me say " wish I`d written that"- your lovely Dad and son meeting of imaginations is up there.
Finely crafted images  - touching rather than cute, and the chorus soars with  the sweet message of the song:
"Come on letís climb high, Iíll show you the view
You make the whole world brighter, by just being you".

A beautiful song  ::thumb:: ::thumb::

Robert


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Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #8 on: December 05, 2018, 11:05:50
@Leonard Scaper @robertkc @MichaelA @M57 @LePlongeur @Lane

Iím so sorry for this late reply to your lovely comments chaps. We have been moving house...so my head, much like my stuff is all over the place!!

A huge thank you for taking the time to listen and comment. I really appreciate it.

Leo 😄🎶👊🏻🎶


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Re: Starboy and Moonman
Reply #9 on: December 05, 2018, 17:41:49
wow this sounds good @LostBoy , great story explaining those lyrics, great lyrics

this sounds just awesome  :ok: :ok: :ok: :ok: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
me, myself, and Pie