• Stormy Nights
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  • Rachel_D
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Stormy Nights
on: September 19, 2020, 21:52:23
Hey kitcheners,

...it's been a while. I hope that you are all well and surviving these strange times. After a long span of silence, I finally got back to songwriting and a new poem-song unravelled itself. The first thunderstorms after the summer season have struck over here, hence the title- 'Stormy Nights'. It is a relatively simple and rough recording, and includes experimentation with harmonies. The 'percussion' is the sound of my fingers knocking on the table (I hope that it is not too annoying!). I would love to read your feedback!  :)

LINK: https://soundcloud.com/rachel_debattista/stormy-nights-original-poem-song


Here are the lyrics:

Staring at the silver-plated plated frame that sought to stop
the minute hand from turning in its journey round the clock
Leaving empty-handed from the visits of the past
One should have known...
... but nothing's clear anymore

CH: Stanzas in my brain collide
figuring the pieces that won't fit inside my mind
Breaking from the light of day
Consumed behind the cloud that takes it all away
In the middle of the night

Holding onto threads of reason tangled in a yarn
losing sight of days and seasons
trampling on the ground on which a hope's enshrined
promises of yesterday are left to lie

CH: Stanzas in my brain collide
figuring the pieces that won't fit inside my mind
Breaking from the light of day
Consumed behind the cloud that takes it all away
In the middle of the night

Take care,
Rachel
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #1 on: September 19, 2020, 23:02:58
Welcome back @Rachel_D  - lovely harmonies! Great lyrics. I like the work Yarn a lot, don't know why exactly :-)
The table percussion works very well!!
If you are going to record it again - may be you can leave some space between the first verse and chorus. Just a thought.
Good luck with the storms on Malta.
new guitar 4-6-2020 https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/12string-demo1 12string Cort.


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #2 on: September 20, 2020, 17:13:58
Very, very Nice @Rachel_D   ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone::, fantastic combination of the vocals

another beautiful poem song from you @Rachel_D
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #3 on: September 20, 2020, 22:30:24
@oorlab  – Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I like ‘yarn’ as well because apart from evoking tangible imagery (of an actual yarn, implying a sense of convolution) it can have multiple meanings and can refer to ‘long / elaborative tales’, and I love to have lyrics with multiple parallel messages... and I’m glad to hear that the table percussion works! :)

@Dutchbeat  – Thank you for always being there to listen to my poem-songs and for your feedback!! I’m very happy to hear that you like the harmonies :D


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #4 on: September 21, 2020, 00:03:41
I enjoyed the subtle build and harmonies @Rachel_D . The verse lyrics are really good and have a nice cadence built in; I`m not sure about the chorus, perhaps its that sudden change (which could be smoothed ). The table drum serves ok;  a drum loop would take this beyond demo... and you already put time into making those harmonies polished :yes: :yes:
I like a big storm and after reading your inspiration thought a thunder rumble at the beginning might work.

Robert


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #5 on: September 23, 2020, 12:18:06
« Last Edit: September 23, 2020, 15:58:50 by LePlongeur »
You may wake me up day and night for your songs.
Rough recording? I’d say spontaneous recording.
This has all the beauty and freshness ‘small’ songs need.
And the more you polish it, the more you loose (or lose - what do I know) of it’s beauty.
My idea? Tie a ribbon around this one and keep your fingers drumming the table for the next one.
Love it to bits @Rachel_D
Kind regards, Gus


Edit:typos


Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #6 on: September 23, 2020, 14:06:46
I have missed your poem-songs @Rachel_D . Great harmonies and the tabletop percussion works perfectly.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #7 on: September 25, 2020, 03:41:49
Love the lyrics, well done. You have a nice voice!


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #8 on: September 27, 2020, 19:56:05
@robertkc  : Thanks a lot for your constructive feedback :) Thanks for pointing out the transition to the chorus, it did not cross my mind that it was sounding so abrupt. And true – a thunder rumble could really work well :) re. loops – someday I need to start experimenting with those!

@LePlongeur  – Thanks so much for your lovely words! It means a lot! I’m really happy that you like its spontaneous nature :)

@Leonard Scaper  : Hey! It always feels great when a new poem-song emerges after a span of absence and thanks so much for being there to listen to and follow my poem-song journey, and for your positive feedback  :) I greatly appreciate!

@Neal: Thanks so much for listening and for your comment regarding the lyrics – it means a lot coming from you!


Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #9 on: September 28, 2020, 04:51:11
I really enjoyed thus @Rachel_D ... the sparseness at the beginning is charming and the song never loses that charm... even as the harmonies become more layered.... sweetly inspired little vignettes with those harmonies.... quite masterful... and beautiful.

I also enjoyed the way you make the lyrics roll off of the rhythm like natural speech... yet the melody is clearly song form. Very nice 👍

This could be re-recorded in many successful ways. The bones are that strong... but it’s unlikely you could transcend the natural spirit of what you produced here. 😎


Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #10 on: October 03, 2020, 22:59:33
Hola @Rachel_D

I really like how you write, your lyrics are deep, special and the melody is full of delicacy and femininity.
Lovely
I like this line
"promises of yesterday are left to lie"
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #11 on: October 04, 2020, 15:11:10
@1roomstudio  – Wow – thank you so much for your beautiful words! I greatly appreciate you feedback :)

@Mora Amaro La Loba  – Hola! :) Thanks for listening in detail to the lyrics. It means a lot :)


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #12 on: October 04, 2020, 20:16:10
Nice song Rachel. Lovely harmonies indeed. Storms raging here in Ireland too. Your song blends well with them.
You can't go back. You can't stand still. If the thunder don't get you. The lightning will.


Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #13 on: October 05, 2020, 17:32:48
« Last Edit: October 13, 2020, 08:25:40 by Goatrelated »
BEAUTIFUL ! 
I'm really surprised, looks like you're voice is deeper than normal, more strength. Love the melody, the harmonies with your voice, the lyrics and the fun you clearly had creating this song.
Hope you're doing well in these stirring times  ::heart:: ::heart:: ::heart::

:goatie:
Jeete


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Re: Stormy Nights
Reply #14 on: October 07, 2020, 15:47:16
Great work Rachel  in both the composition and lyrics - I like it a lot
Regards from Denmark





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