• The Atlas Of Remote
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The Atlas Of Remote
on: May 24, 2019, 19:25:01
My guitar collaborator Scott sent me a nice prog. rock instrumental  which I heard lyrics to... a kind of anthem for loners and/or solo sailors.
Its long, but if you make it through and hear something that can be improved on in the mix please fire away.



   The Atlas Of Remote

kite on a string
a coiled up spring
in a kid building worlds
on the floor

after dark reading maps
in a wide awake hat
naming places
never seen before

you`re a treetop spy
the tribe ostracized
never could breathe
in a crowd

set your compass on course
far from applause
amaze the day
that heard your vow

out of your country out of yourself
eyes of stars at the bottom of your well

over this whole blue wilderness
sailing ships hidden below
kindness unseen under the waterline
courage no one knows
wonder shivers you feel
at the Equator of Real
reaching the Island of Voices
on your Atlas of Remote

sometimes you play the clown
marionette falling down
in the grown up
puppet show

cut the kite from the string
uncoil your spring
amaze the day
before its flown

always ever how you go on
windhover eye imagination

over this whole blue wilderness
sailing ships hidden below
kindness unseen under the waterline
courage no one knows
wonder shivers you feel
at the Equator of Real
reaching the Island of Voices
on your Atlas of Remote

Robert Cordrey April,2019

https://soundcloud.com/scottt709/the-atlas-of-remote   


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #1 on: May 24, 2019, 22:01:57
« Last Edit: May 24, 2019, 22:04:34 by Dutchbeat »
awesome... @robertkc and @ your music partnerScott  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

shivers out here, the vocal delivery and music performance really hit me
front guitar was a bit loud at places for me

i love all of it, but the voice...the most

fantastic music guys, in my opinion  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
i would up the vocal volumwise a little, i think  :o :o ::) ::) ::)
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #2 on: May 24, 2019, 23:57:20
Strong track @robertkc  - haunting atmosphere. Is it possibly about Brexit?
I like the lyrics a lot
As a tip for mixing - may be cutting out the backing / 2nd vocals at this part
out of your country out of yourself
eyes of stars at the bottom of your well
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #3 on: May 25, 2019, 00:30:43
@robertkc

Very good work  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

Congratulations!!  :yes:


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #4 on: May 25, 2019, 08:05:44
Yes yes yes.
Another great one.
Keep up the good work.
Hats off to your companion too!
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #5 on: May 25, 2019, 20:07:48
@Dutchbeat That`s very encouraging- not a natural rock singer I`m still learning how to sing this kind of song.
 I agree the vocal gets a bit lost in places... have a mix now that takes out one of the thrash guitars on the chorus. Not sure if my collaborator wants to post it  ( on the free Soundcloud account you lose plays/comments when you change a file).
Will have another listen to the lead guitar volumes.

@oorlab  Brexit?? :doublebonk: now theres a subject that sends me straight to the mute button on my remote :yawnee:
I`ll play around with the doubled vocal-maybe use it just on the chorus. Thanks for your listen and comments.

@Marcus Nalgaber  Thank you!

@LePlongeur  Getting a thumbs up from another guitar man feels good - Scott`s original instrumental with those twin high/low leads was excellent .

Robert


Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #6 on: May 27, 2019, 01:58:55
I love this @robertkc  some decent rhymes and phrases in the lyrics, the song sounds really polished too.


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #7 on: May 27, 2019, 03:41:07
Hi @robertkc

This is a good song - lots of melody and I really like the restrained guitar solos (especially at the end).

Interesting lyrics as well.

Re: the vocals, they sound a little restrained to me - when I heard that chunky intro, I was expecting some loud vocals to kick in. Your voice is really good but doesn't seem to fit so well with that feeling the song is about to build up and let rip.

The backing harmonies have already been mentioned - and I also think that they may not be needed.

The intro to the solo (and the solo) at 2.15 is great.

It would be interested (for me) to hear this song with the chunky guitar replaced with an acousitc, I can imagine it fitting with the vocals more.

cheers


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #8 on: May 28, 2019, 18:34:41
Thanks @realkevm !
@Jurgen  Those are thoughtful and interesting suggestions. Being a fan of building intensity in a song, I like the contrast between the verses and chorus, but yeah, maybe an all-acoustic opening would work better. Bringing the volume/heaviness down again after Scott`s solo is another place that could perhaps benefit from cutting that electric metal chunk guitar.
Will pass on your guitar comments to Scott ( not amember here).

Robert


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #9 on: May 30, 2019, 00:08:47
Hey @robertkc ,

Wow niiice...!! I wrote along while listening:

'amaze the day
that heard your vow'

->Voice and violin in same frequency space fighting for room/masking each other

'wonder shivers you feel
at the Equator of Real
reaching the Island of Voices
on your Atlas of Remote'

->Women choir sound a bit off to me (harmony-wise)

Nice octave solo in the middle..
And nice that it repeats in the end with a 2nd harmony

To me the mix/production sounds as close to professional as possible for amateurs like us  :blackgrin:
Very, very nice listen, and I hope my pointers help you both in your 'creating the final result' process..

Cheers, Love and Peace,
Mar T.
:mart:
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #10 on: May 30, 2019, 18:23:14
Very helpful comments @Mar T.  (think I`ll try your take notes while listening method; first impressions are  often lasting ones).
Now you mention it, I can hear  something off with the harmonies too - they`re overlaid with a loop of the Shevannai vocals , so that might be the conflict.
Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts.

Robert


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Re: The Atlas Of Remote
Reply #11 on: May 30, 2019, 18:27:04
Yw my friend!! Keep them coming, love it!