• The Children In Blue
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  • Alann
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The Children In Blue
on: June 30, 2016, 21:47:53
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 20:11:59 by Alann »
Hi Guys,

Here is my song The Children In Blue !

I was in South Africa last summer for a road trip, around the Black River Canyon. I was walking down from a crazy view point and I met 3-4 classes of African children, between 6-10yo. I remember they were all dressed in blue uniforms. (You'll see the original pic on SC)
A pretty good memory. They ran to us one by one to "high five" or even kiss our hands. We spend some time together. Beautiful moment !

All advises/lyrics mistake are welcome !
I worked a lot for the arrangement, learning about mixing and frequencies. And I added a high pass haha !
I will surely do some little sound's modifications tomorrow, for now it's in private.

https://soundcloud.com/alann-fontaine/the-children-in-blue/s-wTzdS
EDIT : after some changes (thx for feedbacks!), the adjusted version is here : https://soundcloud.com/alann-fontaine/the-children-in-blue


The Children In Blue

I was walking
Down that sandy pretty ride
I was contemplating
The high cliff on the other side

How to describe
Such a lovely countryside
My eyes were wide
With wonder at this crazy sight

I felt something on my hand
That was something sweet, something sweet
I turned and I lowered my head, my head

And I can hear again
Their whoops of joy and bits of song
I was just a stranger
But they took my hand and ran along

They were shining the children in blue
And I was smiling, and laughing too

They were dancing
As fast as their hearts were beating
I was captivated
By their smiles and gazes, their passion, their speed

What a welcome
They were happy they were home
By sharing their joy
I was feeling I was home

I felt something on my hand
That was something sweet, something sweet
I turned and I lowered my head, my head

And I can hear again
Their whoops of joy and bits of song
I was just a stranger
But they took my hand and ran along

They were shining the children in blue
And I was smiling, and laughing too




I was walking...
They were shining...
The children in blue...



I felt something on my hand
That was something sweet, something sweet
I turned and I lowered my head, my head

And I can hear again
Their whoops of joy and bits of song
I was just a stranger
But they took my hand and ran along

They were shining the children in blue
And I was smiling, and laughing too


 ::Hoss::
"Dreams can't happen if you don' do anything for"


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #1 on: June 30, 2016, 22:09:01
Hey dude,

This is a beautiful song that takes me back to my own time in South Africa working in the townships.Those kids were amazing!  ;D

The mix sounds nice and clean,great playing and voice.Great vibe! I wasn't crazy about the echo if I'm honest.It sounded a little out of place to me.This is subjective I know & don't change anything on my account mate! :)

Really well done man!
Leo   ;D


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #2 on: July 01, 2016, 00:18:02
Hey @Alann,

That sounds pretty good! Is that you singing? Love your voice!
I'll leave the advice on the lyrics to our native english members, loved the message though!
What I love most about the story is that you seem to have been inspired by a real life
event, and I love how sensitive you wrote down that experience.
Production wise: haha wow, you have been expirimenting I read, but that really payed off!
Adding high pass filters is a good choice imo when working with vocals and acoustic guitar,
well done!
My main (little) concern is the balance of the guitar arrangement. The chords are 'only' on the left
and the riffs 'only' on the right. It's great to make room for the vocals, so that works.
But I'd suggest to add a reference on the right side to the chords as well.
Another idea is adding a bass instrument. Maybe that helps enough to keep the guitar
arrangement as is.
Just some ideas, I'm sure you'll find out the perfect tweak. When it goes live, I'll
certainly like and repost this track, very well done!!

MM
:mm:

KARMA!!
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #3 on: July 01, 2016, 00:41:16
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 00:46:14 by Alann »
Thank you @LostBoy , I appreciate ! :)

@MartiMedia Thank you MM ! Yeah I'm singing :)
Okay just not to be confused : you mean I should more separate the guitars like 50R and 50L to make room for vocals? Cause I'm actually 25R 25L for the guitars, something like that.
About adding guitars it's kind of complicated cause I only have my Taylor for now, I'm not home I'm traveling til August   ;D So when I try to mix more than 2-3 guitars with the same, it doesn't work very well ...  :-\

Anyway thank you for your great feedback. Will see about the balance of the guitars.

 ::Hoss::


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #4 on: July 01, 2016, 00:47:23
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 00:50:01 by MartiMedia »
Hey @Alann , compliments on your voice then!! No I think the balance is just right to make enough room for the vocal, but I hear chords on the left and riffs on the right speaker the way it is now (just wanted to point out an individual perceived consequence of that choice  ;) ;) ) If you do not have resources to add another (bass) guitar I'd try to use another instrument on the right side of the stereo field that plays some more harmonies. Maybe you have a virtual instrument within reach? Btw this is only a minor thing imo, and subject to taste... So I'd not worry to much, it sounds great as is to me!
MM


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #5 on: July 01, 2016, 00:50:37
Yo @MartiMedia  I got you ! Thank you for precising, I'm working on it right now. Will see if I can add something or maybe re adjusting the guitars so it fills better the right.

Thank you  ::Hoss::


Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #6 on: July 01, 2016, 07:46:03
Hi Allan . What a lovely song. Lots of potential . Great voice and what a wonderful story . The further you get into the song , it unfolds completely . You've probably had a fantastic time. Lyrics also very nice as well. But like Mart already said, I'll leave the advice on the lyrics to our native english members as well. But I get a good picture here.

Great guitar riff at 0:11 sec. What repeats during the song . Something that I often do with certain riffs. Works like an earwig.

I would only use a different drum kit. One with a more open en deeper kick. Bass would also ad to the song I think. Turn up the hi-hat slightly. Also, I would let  the snare hit on the second and fourth along withe the kick  a bit more.

Well done Allan. KIU

BdK
The answers are always there!!


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #7 on: July 01, 2016, 15:37:16
Hi Bdk Thank you !! :)
Haha I like the tams percussion on that soung ! You're right I increased a bit the hihat.
About the snare I don't use it on the second cause I prefer hearing the "chack" of the guitar, sounds more acoustic to me and sounds good with tams!

Thank you again,
It's Alann bro btw ;)

 ::Hoss::


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #8 on: July 01, 2016, 17:15:25
WOW  :o :o :o :o, amazing how many great tracks have been released these last few days by fellow kitcheneers.....

pretty stunning song this....... ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

not much i can comment on, it all sounds spot on

except, that it could have some 'more body' perhaps, mixwise, teh low sounds a bit thin in my opinion, so the bass and the kick drum could be lower / a bit bigger perhaps

but, watch out my mixing tips are not the best......

great track!!!!!

me, myself, and Pie


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #9 on: July 01, 2016, 17:22:54
Thank you @it must be me, Dutchbeat? ! Much appreciated !

 ::Hoss::


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #10 on: July 03, 2016, 01:27:43
Any developments yet @Alann ? Let's hear it! MM


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #11 on: July 03, 2016, 03:03:38
Beautiful song @Alann - the whole package works for me.

The words tell a story and paint a picture

your vocals and playing are really well done and it's catchy as well.

Great job on this

cheers

Jurgen


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Re: The Children In Blue
Reply #12 on: July 03, 2016, 03:33:25
Thanks very much @jurgen !
I adjusted the hihat's volume, cleared a bit the drums. I've seen about the balance of the guitars so it is better!
Final version is online : https://soundcloud.com/alann-fontaine/the-children-in-blue

Thank you all for the feedbacks and kind words!

 ::Hoss::



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