• The Christmas Wish (alternative entry for the Christmas competition?)
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  • Rabid Parrot
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A collaboration with Dutchbeat for the songwriting competition/project that went off in a different direction for me. Special thanks to Dutchbeat (and Ms. DB!) for graciously allowing me to use the instrumental that inspired the song! 

Ok, and now for the history. This started off as a poem sent to Dutchbeat to kick off this collaboration. Returned with the bones of this instrumental and featuring some inspired vocal work by Ms. DB, I felt that lyrically it was a bit too unfocused and earthy for the airy instrumental. He sent me a second version featuring his classic DB beats which immediately set off a quicker tempo and sense of urgency that inspired a complete re-write of the lyrics and a new tone for the song. As this was a Christmas collaboration, we still had some work to do to complete a final mix on a collaborative version, but I spent the night coming up with this version which features the DB instrumental and the spiritual core of Ms. DB's original voice work! 

Our separate visions for the song hit a snag at this point and with less than 24 hours it was unlikely we would be able to have the time to work on it together (as much as I would have loved to, but we did agree that we should try again with a new track in the new year!).  I completed a rough representation of what I had in mind last night.  I had envisioned the main vocal to be like spiky trees in the lush landscape and choral harmonies that sweep in and out like wind and snow to soften the whole.  I just lack the expertise to create the effect I would have liked and would have needed to hire Ms. DB for some overtime :P

so here's the song: It's about the wanting to return to the innocence of the holiday season and a profound longing for meaning.

https://soundcloud.com/rabid-parrot/the-christmas-wish-featuring-an-instrumental-by-dutchbeat

The Christmas Wish
__________________

Please let me have just one wish for Christmas
I want to see as a child sees
I want to feel the wonder of a first snowfall
Of that snowflake on my cheek
I want to lie and watch the stars
feel heaven and earth revolve
I want to feel the magic in the air
and remember a time when you were there

Please let me have just one wish for Christmas
The smile of a child that believes
That a reindeer can fly, of a sleigh full of toys lighting up the night
I want to dance I want to sing
I want to listen to the bells ring
I want to forgive, forget the year
I need to know that true love never disappears

Do you feel that time is running out?
Do you feel the starlight is fading now?
Time is running out
Time is running out

I - I want to believe in the innocence
I want to believe in the silly things
I want to remember how to dream
And know that this is not everything
and I wonder if the day would be so bright
if I never knew the night
I know that I belong and need to be strong
find a way to get up and get out - to get up and carry on

Please let me feel the true Christmas spirit
a love that always finds a way home
where every promise made is never broken
and no one will be alone
I want to hear the footsteps on the snow
I want to hide I want to stay I want to go
I see the colours and see the lights
And I feel that everything - somehow - will be all right

Please let me have just one wish for Christmas
I want to hear the joy as children sing
I want to smell the sweet smell of the kitchen
place the lights and tinsel on the tree
like a tether - like a string
I am drawn to hear them sing
Safe and warm from the ice and snow
This is where I need to make my home

And I ? I want to believe in the innocence
I want to believe in the silly things
Because this is where it all begins
so we can start again
I need to believe in the fairy tales
how they soar and how they sail
maybe if I believe in miracles
you?ll hold me close and you won't let go
Please hold me close and don?t let go
I?ll never let you go
I need to let you go


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Hi RP and DB, thanks for sharing and submitting this one for the Xmas comp!
Really enjoyed listening, only point of critique would be the speed of the words... It must have been difficult for you to sing so many words per second.. Apart from that I think the production sounds really good, I enjoyed the song! Well done!
MM
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


  • Rabid Parrot
  • Poissonier
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  • karaoke nut, wannabe songwriter and lyricist

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« Last Edit: December 24, 2015, 19:16:37 by Rabid Parrot »
I come from the Ed Sheehan school of lyrical beat making.  It was crazy fun to sing - all 159 takes! :')


Very nice collab guys :) Nice dreamy backing track DB and the lyrics and message are super :o I would like to hear the whole thing slowed down a tad, so that

the words are sung slightly slower :o

Apparently there are programs that can do that without changing the sound of the vocals or instruments :o I'd love to have one of those :) :)

Great song guys  :) :)


  • Rabid Parrot
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« Last Edit: December 25, 2015, 02:39:39 by Rabid Parrot »
Thanks for checking it out and for all the comments!  I would have made it faster if I could :')  but yeah, it could be slowed right down as well, but the lyrics are far too dense to be slowed down too much, or you'd sink in them.  I wanted them fast enough to be skipped over and to be a rapid fire series of images.  The cadence was the core of it, moreso than the words.  The verses are done off the beat to give it the feel of being unsettled and not able to focus.  The chorus is paced with the beat to reflect the desire for harmony.  The words would then be the hidden message on repeat listens.   I did a lot of takes so it doesn't seem too fast anymore :D


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Wow now I'm definately going to try to find the hidd3n message RP! Btw nice voice you have! MM



 What an amazing song to hear first thing Christmas morning  ;D ;D

 Thanks for that...and a BIG MERRY CHRISTMAS to you ;D ;D

 This is just brilliant guys.....I love it, seriously good  ;D ;D



This. Is. Awesome!!!

Love it completely! Wouldn't change a thing!

Z


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@ Crystal Suzy
Very nice collab guys :) Nice dreamy backing track DB and the lyrics and message are super :o I would like to hear the whole thing slowed down a tad, so that

the words are sung slightly slower :o

Apparently there are programs that can do that without changing the sound of the vocals or instruments :o I'd love to have one of those :) :)

Great song guys  :) :)

many daws can do that nowadays, reaper for sure and i think Cubase, it is a miracle that that is possible, i agree....

what daw or what kind of recorder do you use, Crystal? are you sure you don't have that option?
me, myself, and Pie


Wowwww! :D :D This is simply BRILLIANT! :D :D I truly enjoyed listening (for multiple times! :D)

I really love it when words are used in this way! :D I love the contrast of the higher speed stanzas and the method by which they give way to ?Do you feel?? and ?I want to believe??. The ?Do you feel? and ?I want to believe? stanzas are really powerful, I like their mood, the notes, melody and the perfect way by which they are written and sung and their touching message :)

I love this style and I really think that DB?s instrumental really works well with it. I can also appreciate better the structure of DBs mix in this way and great job on that DB! ? I really love the instrumental and its different sections and the introduction of the bells and its peaks and falls? ? FANTASTIC! :D

A note about the 4 higher-speed stanzas:
My only issue is with these 4 stanzas - I really love this sort of writing style and the fact that the words are sung at a speed (and these happen to be my favourite parts of the song as well). The first time I heard it I felt that the ?please let me feel?? stanzas were just a bit too fast. But now on repeated listens I seem to no longer mind the speed aspect. The issue seems to be something else rather than the speed itself.. I?m trying to make sense of it: there are certain lines which sound ?perfect? and there are others where the speed feels to be getting slightly out of hand and I think it is something that has to do with the choice of words and their syllables/ sounds / accent vis a vis the beat. Let me give some examples maybe it will be clear what I?m trying to say:

These are the lines which imo sound a bit less effective / less perfect than the others:
- ?Please let me have just one wish for Christmas?
- ?I want to see as a child sees? and ?The smile of a child that believes? > the world ch-ild does not fit as effectively in terms of syllables and the accent of the word. On the other hand the variant at the 4th stanza: ?I want to hear the joy as children sing? is a better sounding second verse
- ?Please let me have just one wish for Christmas.
- ?Please let me feel the true Christmas spirit a love that always finds a way home? >> ?Christmas spirit? and ?finds a way home? sound a bit dragged
?where every promise made is never broken?
- ?I want to smell the sweet smell of the kitchen place the lights and tinsel on the tree? >> feels to
much


These are some of my favourite ?perfect? sounding phrases (imo these parts are sounding really great and the words and their syllables fit perfectly with the beat and their pauses are great) :D
- ?I want to feel the wonder of the first snowfall? a time when you were there?
- ?and no one will be alone?
?I want to hear the footsteps on the snow; I want to hide I want to stay I want to go?
?This is where I need to make my home?
?I want to hear the footsteps on the snow? will be alright? >> I especially love ?I want to hide I want to stay I want to go? >> that really sounds cool!
?like a tether?. Make my home? ? this is great! :D


Well done on this song, it was a real pleasure to listen to it. I really wish that you?ll get to make more of this kind of music! :D :D
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


  • Rabid Parrot
  • Poissonier
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  • karaoke nut, wannabe songwriter and lyricist

    • 208


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    • October 06, 2019, 20:40:53
    • Toronto, Ontario
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Thanks for all the detailed feedback Rachel! 

I have to say that I absolutely hear what you are talking about in those parts. 

First, about the lyrics:  Some of the lyrics were maintained just for the sake of maintaining the original poem intact.  As a collaboration, I didn't want to make any major changes to the words that seemed would make the final cut - I guess that's the main difference to me between working on something all by myself and wanting to keep joint ideas intact in a collaboration as part diplomacy, part letting go of the ego, part insecurity of not knowing if I should hold onto an idea or change it and not wanting to see too type A about it :P

Second, about the sound of some of the phrasings:  I know what you mean about some of them not sounding quite right and some sounding better.  I wasn't joking about 159 takes ;)  all done mostly freestyling over the beat and taking the best bits - this was literally a 24-48 hour turnaround from the alternate lyrics to recording so there definitely is some work that can be done, although i am happy with the overall feel.  I am happy that you noticed some of the smoother bits.  In fact, if you listen to the pronunciation, some of the improvements were made by switching to a "british english" pronunciation, which I use to cheat sometimes to soften certain words or create a smoother accent (that Ed Sheeran vs. Eminem vs. Macklemore influences :P).  A lot of the time i don't notice doing it so i do realise i went back and forth in parts.  Kinda funny really.  I think some of the misstepped lyrics can actually be fixed by phrasing differently, so I am really just happy that the parts that did work, did work at all given the limited time I had to play around with it.  If you get a hold of the instrumental and try to sing the lyrics free-style, you can see just how one little syllable can just throw things right off - it's maddening and really fun at the same time trying to make things work. 

I am not home for the holidays, but I will see if I can work in some changes - I'm never much for perfection  and my attention span is so short.  I'm going to try to see if I can get excited about having another go at this, especially after the big crunch to finish this - literally 10 minutes before having to drive off for the holidays :P!




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