• The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
  • Started by CarlDavies
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The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
on: May 02, 2021, 22:54:54
Hi all, the first track I've shared for 2 years...this one kept chopping and changing - but managed to grapple and stop it slipping away for good..

Really appreciate any feedback :-)

The last time: https://soundcloud.com/carldaviesbiz/the-last-time

LYRICS

V1

We Took this route just for romance
Tangled words, broken chance
Silent Strangers, hiding lives
Stealing giances, petrified

like a leaf blows around
Iost fthe chase fell to the ground
bitter eyes, those crazy stripes
And heaven knows itsÖ

Chorus

Its the last time
I will ring
Its the last time for everything
Iím bailing out the window and
The wind rushes in my hair
Its the last time youíll hear me breathe
Its the last time You will see me
Iím falling down, I'm falling now
And The wind rushes in my hair


V2


But maybe you care
Maybe youíll give in
We both has lives we need to live in
I feel so restrained, I feel deprived
If you beg to care Iím no stereotype

My blood my guts
My tears my life
No laughter no summers drinking in july

Iím falling out of love
Iíve lost my place
In this universe and

MIDDLE 8

When youíre placed on this earth
Its a lonely race
The scientists will get you down
War and peace creates an illusionary space


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Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #1 on: May 04, 2021, 13:04:26
well done Carl
excellent dynamic right from the beginning
the production has a lot things like

great vocals too!

(the pic on SC, that double neck on the wall... you're a courageous man. LOL)

All the best dude!


Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #2 on: May 04, 2021, 13:28:46
@rightly Thanks so much for this feedback - it means a lot at the moment :-) I'll keep an ear open for your new tunes coming through

I'm still recovering from starting an MSc in songwriting a couple of years ago - it was a nightmare, songwriting got worse and confidence dropped!

Back on track now.

Double guitar well spotted - hoping there will be a moment to use it live...before my back goes with old age :-)

Carl



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Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #3 on: May 04, 2021, 13:33:10
@rightly Thanks so much for this feedback - it means a lot at the moment :-) I'll keep an ear open for your new tunes coming through

I'm still recovering from starting an MSc in songwriting a couple of years ago - it was a nightmare, songwriting got worse and confidence dropped!

Back on track now.

Double guitar well spotted - hoping there will be a moment to use it live...before my back goes with old age :-)

Carl

Seems to me
musically you've got an awful lot going for you!

yeah, the back
I've had issues with that as well. When choosing a guitar, the weight of it is perhaps the most decisive factor!!
lol!


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Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #4 on: May 06, 2021, 07:50:29
Hoi hoi @CarlDavies
Hope this finds you well.

I really think thereís no need for your drop in self confidence. Most people (including myself I must say) dislike people who are too tester on/cocky. But as a rule, people with obvious talent in abundance have two more tasks except for music:
- contract management
- mood management, or keeping self confidence at a reasonable level

Look at my whatís itís name. Details where I live etc.
And youíll see that I am way past the best before date and still get offers to perform on a regular basis. I am reasonably ok with what I can or cannot do on a stage.
But it doesnít hold me back from kicking the shit out of a guitar on a daily basis and having lots of fun.

My advice to you would be the following:
If you are not having fun, there are a hundred reasons to NOT make or write music.
Only the things that bring a silly smile on your face have the potential to bring you succes. And if not succes, they will bring you a bloody good time.
Your brain is a chemical thing. Falling in love, running or skating long distances and YES of course, making music urge your glands to produce happy hormones.

Got into your music cave every day and your brain will enthusiastically embrace your happy hormones.
This is the best dope you can imagine. And yes, itís addictive, and too much of all that isnít good for you. Long live certain addictions!!!
You are making fantastic music.
Next one please!
Kind regards, Gus


Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #5 on: May 06, 2021, 10:43:50
@LePlongeur really heartwarming advice delivered exactly at the right time. I so much appreciate youíre careful reading of my message and  your support.

I didnít expect this kindness so thank you for the steer. Some of these nudges can send you properly in the right direction and itís reinforcing the intuition Iím having that now is a better time for my singing and writing.

So pleasing to hear youíre in demand. Must have a great legacy. I will take the time to hunt down some of your tracks...or do share.

All the best and keep in touch

Carl


Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #6 on: May 06, 2021, 14:23:21
Hello Carl Davies, great tune, great vocals and lyrics. While listening from my speakers I think the instrumental could have more volume. Then I put the headphones and the drums are punchy, but the voice is still louder. But look, it's just my thoughts, perhaps my speakers are lying here. Or your intention is leave the vocals the way it is recorded. But I like your song, the lyrics are melancholic but the groove is dancing!  Perhaps a guitar more "rocky"? It's better to stop now before you get mad at me.

8)


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Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #7 on: May 06, 2021, 14:59:58
Hey @CarlDavies Lot's of stuff going on here musically, I really like it. You manage to keep me engaged even though there is a lot of ebb and flow, quite brave to bring a track down a number of times and then come back up again, while not losing momentum. A solid pop song all round, which I don't say too often these days. Thanks for sharing.
You can't go back. You can't stand still. If the thunder don't get you. The lightning will.


Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #8 on: May 06, 2021, 15:09:31
@GaryHynes - thanks so much for the candid feedback/ personal time - the song is quite long at 4:30 - so I'm pleased I was able to keep your attention :-)

The encouragement works a treat for morale - I've made a lot of changes to the way I record and mix over the past 6 months. This song is getting much more positive feedback than anthing else I've ever shared.

I'm more than happy to reciprocate with feedback - ping me some stuff!

Carl

Hey @CarlDavies Lot's of stuff going on here musically, I really like it. You manage to keep me engaged even though there is a lot of ebb and flow, quite brave to bring a track down a number of times and then come back up again, while not losing momentum. A solid pop song all round, which I don't say too often these days. Thanks for sharing.


Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #9 on: May 06, 2021, 15:27:10
@aureliobiz thanks for the time out to critique. :shinyteeth:

Honestly, the more open the feedback, the more I can develop! no worries about trying to please me!

I've definitely had a tendency to push vocals too far forward in mix. Its probably because I sing - bit like guitarists like to hear themselves more! I'll have another listen - my ears are a bit numb after mixing it all...

I decided to leave electric guitar mainly out of the mix. it was to help preserve more of a pop feel - plus the instrumental is very heavy in the arrangement, with grand piano, 2 acoustic guitars and 4 different string sounds.

But hell...I should give the electric a go and see how that sounds...it might be better...it might be worse! I'll take out the acoustics. Lets see...

Thanks again, the feedback is like gold dust :-)

Carl



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Re: The Last Time - Phew, got there in the end!
Reply #10 on: May 06, 2021, 16:27:30
Iíve been back for another listen @CarlDavies .
And I think I agree with the someone saying that the singing is rather too loud.
And I think I agree with myself (smiley) that you have two options:
- repair it
- invest the time to repair in a new song instead

I know for a fact that I never repair something.  As in NEVER.

I love crazy nick names. And you ask how you can find my music.
You can find it in the Kitchen.
Under Ďle plongeurí the lowest rank in any franchise kitchen
In soundclick under leplongeur and Duhsjaak (Iím fucked in Dutch)
In soundcloud under the same names

I must warn you though that my lyrics have a rather free tone and scandalous nature.
If you are as sensitive as a lot of Anglo Saxons are, maybe itís better if you check my songs in Prompt Writing.

Your 4 minutes 30 is not long. Almost all my songs are 5 to 6,30 long. The chance that the listener falls asleep is compensated by turning up the volume of the guitars. They also call that shoe gaze.

Enjoy!
Kind regards, Gus



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