• The Rain Will End (first draft)
  • Started by O.F. Hanson
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  • O.F. Hanson
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The Rain Will End (first draft)
on: April 17, 2021, 18:08:21
I wrote this song in a day—so I suppose it’s in draft stage, I don’t think it’s finished. If there are any opinions, comments, or critiques to make please do so as it would be very, VERY helpful to me on my songwriting journey I hope to begin. In all honestly I’m only two-full weeks into it, so everything and anything added in response here would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks for your time!

The Rain Will End
(Original)

The rain that fell on little rose petals
Gave it growth in the eye of the storm
That youthful flower that refused to settle
Will blossom to beauty as though reborn
But for now my heart lacks its mettle
‘Cause I didn’t want to move on knowing I’m not yours

And on the day you said goodbye
It had rained like never before
All the ways I wanted to cry
When you chose to walk out the door
But, baby, that will be no more

‘Cause someday the rain will end
And my heart will spring back again
Though I’m still hurt about it now
In time I will recover somehow
So let the heart blossom begin
Because someday the rain will end

But for now young roses wilt in the mud
Holding their wills to never again be torn
Mem’ry of the days they were once a bud
Reoccur as their new resilience reforms
And those most deserving to have true love
Are the one’s who always manage to weather the storm

And on the day you left me here
It had rained like never before
All the ways I showered my tears
When you chose to walk out the door
But, baby, that will be no more

‘Cause someday the rain will end
And my heart will spring back again
Though I’m still hurt about it now
In time I will recover somehow
So let the heart blossom begin
Because someday the rain will end

[Bridge]
Everyday that it falls and rains
I will let it pour!
It’s the only way for growth and gain
Until I need it no more!

And on the day you left my life
It had rained like never before
All the skies had lost their light
When you chose to walk out the door
But, baby, that will be no more

‘Cause someday the rain will end
And my heart will spring back again
Though I’m still hurt about it now
In time I will recover somehow
So let the heart blossom begin
Because someday the rain will end
“Wherever the Art of Medicine is loved, there is also a love of Humanity.” - Hippocrates
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” - Mark Twain


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Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #1 on: April 18, 2021, 21:04:47
Looks good @O.F. Hanson  - the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Will you put it to music, and post a  demo here?
There is a seperate lyrics board if you like to get in touch on the text itself
https://www.songwriter-forum-kitchen.com/forum/lyrics/13/

I like the line  'Are the one’s who always manage to weather the storm'
Looking forward hearing what music will come with this.


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Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #2 on: April 19, 2021, 16:28:54
Looks good @O.F. Hanson  - the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Will you put it to music, and post a  demo here?
There is a seperate lyrics board if you like to get in touch on the text itself
https://www.songwriter-forum-kitchen.com/forum/lyrics/13/

I like the line  'Are the one’s who always manage to weather the storm'
Looking forward hearing what music will come with this.

Thanks for the feedback!! Honestly, I don’t have any musical talents (instrument or vocal that I’ve discovered) to  create a full composition to publish. I am simply just a songwriting for now, and a “rookie” writer at that. But I’ll work on discovering what talents I have so that I can apply them behind my lyrics, perhaps a collaboration would be best for me at this time? I’d love to share some of my lyrics to anyone who’s willing to add vocals behind them!

Thanks for your feedback @oorlab !!


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Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #3 on: April 19, 2021, 21:26:11
@O.F. Hanson  - you've come to the right place, we're all rookies  :pompom: , and I think that anyone has some musical abilities. But I know what you mean, if you don't play an instrument, or sing - than it can be a challenge to write a song. But collaborating is the way to go.
What kind of style did you imagine while writing the lyrics? What would be more or less the tempo? If you had a choice, would you let the song be performed by Fleet Foxes, or Pharell Williams, ... or may be Metallica?



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Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #4 on: April 19, 2021, 21:50:36
@O.F. Hanson  - you've come to the right place, we're all rookies  :pompom: , and I think that anyone has some musical abilities. But I know what you mean, if you don't play an instrument, or sing - than it can be a challenge to write a song. But collaborating is the way to go.
What kind of style did you imagine while writing the lyrics? What would be more or less the tempo? If you had a choice, would you let the song be performed by Fleet Foxes, or Pharell Williams, ... or may be Metallica?

In all honesty, I typically write with the idea of either “pop piano ballads” or simply “modern pop”/“EDM” in mind. Of the three you mentioned, I would write for a Pharrell Williams voice. But for me particularly, I’d write for a Bruno Mars.


Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #5 on: April 19, 2021, 22:42:01
Hi @O.F. Hanson and welcome to the kitchen :) I think that your writing is good, I like your use of the flower as a symbol / metaphor and particularly liked your lines: 'That youthful flower that refused to settle
Will blossom to beauty as though reborn'

Given that you are still discovering your talents I suggest that you try doing a rough recording of this one (even just a rough mobile vocal recording to give an idea of the melody and rhythm you had in mind)..  personally I love writing poems and appreciate the world of words, but when it comes to lyrics I personally view words and melody as one package and it would be easier to provide feedback on the lyrics if I could listen to what you had in mind in terms of melody.

I think it could be an interesting exercise for you and helpful to future collaborators to listen to what you had in mind melody wise. Don't worry about being a total beginner, we're all here to learn, and experimentation is the main way by which one can grow and discover new abilities :)
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


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Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #6 on: April 20, 2021, 19:34:39
Hi @O.F. Hanson and welcome to the kitchen :) I think that your writing is good, I like your use of the flower as a symbol / metaphor and particularly liked your lines: 'That youthful flower that refused to settle
Will blossom to beauty as though reborn'

Given that you are still discovering your talents I suggest that you try doing a rough recording of this one (even just a rough mobile vocal recording to give an idea of the melody and rhythm you had in mind)..  personally I love writing poems and appreciate the world of words, but when it comes to lyrics I personally view words and melody as one package and it would be easier to provide feedback on the lyrics if I could listen to what you had in mind in terms of melody.
Thanks for the feedback and advice!! I’ll certainly have to look into finding a voice and a comfortable vocal range to apply to my lyrics here. I have the melody in mind but probably can’t vocalize some of the rhythm that I intend to.

For example: I can only sing like “..knowing I’m not yourrrs!”
When I’d rather sing like “..knowing I’m not youuur—OUR—ouR—OURS!” (With that flexibility in enunciation rather than it being blandly sung).

But, yes, your advice is great and I’ll do what I can to get a melody out there. For someone who has never had anyone hear my singing voice, I guess it would be good experiment. And I certainly agree that “melody+lyrics” creates the full portrait!

Thank-you @Rachel_D for the tips and encouragement!!!


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Re: The Rain Will End (first draft)
Reply #7 on: April 21, 2021, 16:12:18
lovely intelligent lyrics
fine imagery there

I think it'd take quite a bit of work
to get that to music, started from just vague ideas of how it should sound
I hope you find a collaborator 



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