• the Swallow Song
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the Swallow Song
on: January 01, 2022, 11:03:51
wrote this many years ago
I've produced it just lately and I'm quite pleased with it

Still the lyrics are from a very much younger me
I miss the vitality I had but not the immaturity. Ah well, a song I still value.

___________________________________________
Link:

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly/the-swallow-song


Lyrics:

the Swallow Song

Iím not too sure will I make it
confusing the day with the night
my visions are sure they are naked
and see-through held up to the light
Iíve been thinking it out since that thief shut my mouth
with the words that he took to be true
he made off so fast, couldnít stop so he crashed
but too late I was wearing his shoes

I had to call up the doctor
I knew we would not have met by chance
he said he was rather quite busy
and really tied up in his pants
Iím a casual liar with a hypocrite smile
and I canít get up from the ground
he said take some of these, get up on your knees
keep your loyalty profound

lit up to take another hit
the swallow song had just begun
threw away my senses so quick
now Iíd trade my eyelids for some
couldnít hear the clock, no ticking no tock
a timeless spell in the park
in the hours I had not I was happy as I walked
knowing shadows were not cast in the dark

Ďtwas there I found Susanna the dancer
she opened the door well it was her place
could see her wondering whatís he after
is it a funny look or just his face?
foot in the door wasnít trying to sell, couldnít stand still
on no other shelf
her creamy thighs opened without a noise spoken
that is all that Iím wanting to tell

___________

rightly

___________


Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #1 on: January 01, 2022, 21:09:35
Hola @Rightl

As I have already mentioned in another forum, it is as if you have returned to your roots, at least today.
Very good lyrics, as always and a beautiful melody.

Stay well

Mora
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #2 on: January 05, 2022, 16:17:53
Hola @Rightl

As I have already mentioned in another forum, it is as if you have returned to your roots, at least today.
Very good lyrics, as always and a beautiful melody.

Stay well

Mora

Thanks mora

So glad you like the song.
this is a very old one, just the production is new.


Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #3 on: January 06, 2022, 22:10:42
@rightly yeah nice tune, easy to to sit back and listen to!
fly away and find my peace of mind...
http://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #4 on: January 06, 2022, 23:05:07
Wonderful Leonard Cohen vibe  - liking this line a lot
"The swallow song had just begun
Threw away my senses so quick
Now Iíd trade my eyelids for some"
@rightly
New album  https://oorlab.bandcamp.com/album/future-journeys (autumn 2021) Future journeys


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #5 on: January 07, 2022, 12:27:53
Wonderful Leonard Cohen vibe  - liking this line a lot
"The swallow song had just begun
Threw away my senses so quick
Now Iíd trade my eyelids for some"
@rightly

I was into cohen at the time  ;)

i remember writing the lyrics
it took 2 days
the 2nd day i was insistent about finishing it
it was exhausting, took me to a point for maybe the 1st time when i get very focused and lose track of things.

glad you like the song  8)


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #6 on: January 12, 2022, 06:25:21
@rightly  . . . had a few listens, and from your comment responses . . . well, you may have been a bawdy naughty poet back in the day.:)
Really like the way you presented the vocals, it's got some interesting echo effects in places, and the phrasing is very well done, true to the poetry.
I always appreciate some clever rhymes, you certainly had that going on.
Yes, it has a certain sense of fun, danger, and innocence . . . interesting combination that I really enjoyed, and it took me a number of listens to really get it FYI.
I'll admit the ending lyric caught me by surprise . . . so, as the story goes, if it really happened that way . . . I hope it did !


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #7 on: January 12, 2022, 07:51:27
Yes, this is good I think.
There may be a slight problem with us accepting that we are no longer able to sing in the key we did effortlessly 30 years ago. In other words, transposing to a lower key might give it a laid back felling. And make the outspoken ideas more outspoken.
These are great things to sing about @rightly! Wake me up when you do another one please.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #8 on: January 15, 2022, 15:36:08
@rightly  . . . had a few listens, and from your comment responses . . . well, you may have been a bawdy naughty poet back in the day.:)
Really like the way you presented the vocals, it's got some interesting echo effects in places, and the phrasing is very well done, true to the poetry.
I always appreciate some clever rhymes, you certainly had that going on.
Yes, it has a certain sense of fun, danger, and innocence . . . interesting combination that I really enjoyed, and it took me a number of listens to really get it FYI.
I'll admit the ending lyric caught me by surprise . . . so, as the story goes, if it really happened that way . . . I hope it did !


thanks @popitup

it did happen this way and
i'd have liked to go into more detail with the final verse but i wanted the dancer to like it
she'd have been furious if i gave it all away. lol.




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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #9 on: January 15, 2022, 15:39:07
Yes, this is good I think.
There may be a slight problem with us accepting that we are no longer able to sing in the key we did effortlessly 30 years ago. In other words, transposing to a lower key might give it a laid back felling. And make the outspoken ideas more outspoken.
These are great things to sing about @rightly! Wake me up when you do another one please.
Kind regards, Gus

interesting points there Gus
I'm okay with my vocals here
you might be right though, might've been better to do it in a lower key.

I've plenty of similar madness on my shelf.
I'm soo slow these days
please be patient


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #10 on: January 16, 2022, 22:01:46
@rightly Very much enjoyed this. First song I've heard in the kitchen for a while. The first verse really spoke to me too, as I was a victim of online fraud this week, and it involved shoes! So some extra meaning there for me. And I got a Cohen vibe too, in a good way. Thanks.
You can't go back. You can't stand still. If the thunder don't get you. The lightning will.


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Re: the Swallow Song
Reply #11 on: January 19, 2022, 20:45:21
@rightly Very much enjoyed this. First song I've heard in the kitchen for a while. The first verse really spoke to me too, as I was a victim of online fraud this week, and it involved shoes! So some extra meaning there for me. And I got a Cohen vibe too, in a good way. Thanks.

thanks!
Glad it resonated with you
Funny with this particular song people point out their favourite line or verse. Such a giggle.
I wrote it 30 years ago!



xx
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