• The Writing's on the Wall
  • Started by PTCruiser1801
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The Writing's on the Wall
on: January 04, 2016, 15:22:48
« Last Edit: February 08, 2016, 19:43:29 by PTCruiser1801 »
Hi everyone!

I have edited this post to include a new link to a second version of my recent song The Writing's on the Wall. I hope you like it! :)

https://soundcloud.com/ptcruiser1801/writings-on-the-wall-version-2

It is inspired by the increasing control of people and their actions by the 'powers that be'. For different people this may be different powers but the message is still the same: We should fight back against being entirely controlled every second of the day.

The chorus deals with the fact that we are taking constant updates in surveillance and observation for granted. Will it get to a stage where we don't notice when it has gone too far? Has it gone too far already?

I hope you enjoy it!

Here are the lyrics:

We're following their orders,
Without a second thought.
There's no guns or bombs or soldiers,
It's our freedom that's being fought.

We live in an illusion.
We're watched more than before.
Their bullets are confusion,
In this battle in this war.


CHORUS
But who's to say we'll notice,
When the writing's on the wall?
Who's to say,
We'll notice anything at all?


We're not marching to a drum,
It's to an orchestra instead.
You must be sure to let them hear,
The thoughts inside your head.

With omnipresent armies,
They're wrestling control.
Good luck hiding yourself away,
Before they take your soul.


CHORUS
But who's to say we'll notice,
When the writing's on the wall?
Who's to say,
We'll notice anything at all?

BRIDGE
We look towards a future,
Reminiscent of the past.
We fight to get our freedom,
Then that freedom doesn't last.


Let's set ourselves for battle,
Revolution has begun.
We should be proud to tell ourselves,
It's about time that we won.


CHORUS (x2)
They thought we'd never notice,
That the writing's on the wall.
Little did they know,
We'd see it all.


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #1 on: January 04, 2016, 16:31:54
Hi PT, that is a lovely singing melody, and great lyrics!
very strong melody
yes, beautiful

my only tip would be a bit more high EQ and bit more volume on the vocal, let the voice and the lyrics shine through more


a nice listen, a very nice listen, you have a great emotion in your voice, especially when you go up pitchwise it is pretty...stunning, the emotion is there!
me, myself, and Pie


Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #2 on: January 06, 2016, 15:29:34
Dutchbeat- Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to listen and comment! I really appreciate your comments on the melody, lyrics and my voice...they mean a lot. I agree with your point on raising the volume of the vocal...must revisit that soon. Thanks again!


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #3 on: January 06, 2016, 17:53:18
Great message and melody! The acoustic style puts James Taylor on my mind, but your voice makes me think of another James: Hetfield. Have you dabbled in making music with more energy? Because of that random thought I heard a punchier version of the song once it hit "let's set ourselves to battle." Lyrics fit that feel too, no?

Perhaps think of rearranging this? You don't have to as this is just my opinion and it's a lovely song as it is, but if you end up deciding to you have friends in the Kitchen willing to help you add that spice.


Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #4 on: January 07, 2016, 00:52:01
really good stuff! keep on doing your thing!


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #5 on: January 07, 2016, 02:22:01
I love the melody, the chord progressions, and your voice is perfectly fit for it!
It'd be also nice to harmonize the vocals in the second chorus and the last two choruses or maybe just the final choruses.
Just an idea   :)
Great stuff!!


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #6 on: January 07, 2016, 08:04:23
I love the melody, the chord progressions, and your voice is perfectly fit for it!
It'd be also nice to harmonize the vocals in the second chorus and the last two choruses or maybe just the final choruses.
Just an idea   :)
Great stuff!!

I agree with this - I think some gentle harmonies could set it off perfectly.

Beautiful song, beautifully sung. I do also agree with Haven that it could take a bigger production but I love it the way it is.

Really enjoyed this.

Z



Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #7 on: January 08, 2016, 09:35:10
haven- Thanks very much for your kind words and even mentioning me in the same sentence as those two greats! I like your suggestion about adding something around the section of 'Let's set ourselves for battle'...I was thinking of introducing maybe a military drum beat or something of that sort around that part. Not an 'in your face' beat, but quite subtle. What do you think?

tuff- Thanks very much for taking the time to listen and comment. I really appreciate it!

nagne- You are far too kind with your words...I am so delighted to get such a comment on my song. Thank you so much! I have been playing the song on repeat in my car and have been trying to lay down a harmony over the chorus. Not quite hitting it right at the moment  but hoping to solve it soon!

Zedd- Thanks man for calling it a beautiful song. That means a lot to me. It is probably my favourite song out of all I have ever written, so to hear someone else comment on it positively is amazing! Thanks so much!


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #8 on: January 08, 2016, 18:14:52
I like this - very simple and clear - like a proper modern day protest song!


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #9 on: January 08, 2016, 20:23:19
i agree with Nagne here....the thought crossed my mind too, how nice this would be with harmony vocals coming in at some point

so go for it PT, sing to your car stereo  ;D ;D ;D ;D

and if you need a mixer / remixer...someone who really would go full out too much on this... :P :P :P :P

(ahum...cough...think of old Dutchbeat  ::) ::) ::) ::))

but seriously, i really think harmony vocals will completely make this fab, even more
it will take this to higher grounds

what a pretty song, PT


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #10 on: January 08, 2016, 20:29:29
ah, in the last section you have harmony vocals, i think, sorry, but i think the vocals on this should be far more prominent
in every respect

they really are too modest in my opinion, well, that is what i think, considering how good the vocal is


Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #11 on: January 10, 2016, 23:36:12
Rabid- Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and give feedback on my song. I love that you call it a modern day protest song...that's exactly what I was going for!

Dutchbeat- Is that a serious offer to do some mixing on this track? If it is I would be delighted to take you up on it! I have just about finished working on the harmony vocals for the track but I'm pretty rubbish at mixing etc... I recorded this (guitar and vocal) at once using one microphone because i'm not confident in mixing multiple tracks! :P Thanks so much for the kind words about the song in general! :)


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #12 on: January 11, 2016, 08:02:28
Wow great lyrics and wonderful guitar playing. Only the singing sounds a bit like you trying to fill every free room.Why not sing a few syllables faster and pause between the second part of a line.Not always possible I know but may this makes an extra 5% of atmosphere.


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #13 on: January 11, 2016, 18:32:09
ah PT, this is a truely wonderful song, listening again and the lyrics and vocal melody are very memorable and great, in my opinion

and i would love to mix it, but i am not good at mixing, and normally it is more remixing what i do, adding and chopping etc.

but i would love to try to mix this, in a very serious attempt (but mind you, i am not good, technically at mixes at all), i would especially want that voice / the vocals more upfront and clearer, because that is it!!!!!


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Re: The Writing's on the Wall
Reply #14 on: January 11, 2016, 20:30:40
Hey Paul,

Sound great to me, nice message in the lyrics, beautiful finger-picking
on the guitar and nice layed back voice. Personally I'd try to add more
expression in the vocal (scream some parts, whisper some parts), but
I really like it as it is. Well done, great songwriting imo!

MM



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