• Those Who'll Inherit Everything
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Those Who'll Inherit Everything
on: January 07, 2020, 03:07:19
Hey everyone,

Sorry about being so scarce. I'm not nearly as prolific as many of you here. Apparently I'm capable of writing only about two songs a year (I seem to only be inspired during vacation time) so I spend a lot of the rest of my time tweaking them. That, and I do my best to put as much lipstick on them just in case they're pigs.   I've got the bones of this one recorded.  It still needs a lot of work. For instance, hopefully a real percussionist.  Those of you who might be familiar with me know that I actually use the advise I get and keep folks updated as things progress.  At this point I can change just about anything from melodies to lyrics, even form - so all suggestions are very much appreciated.

https://soundcloud.com/m57/those-wholl-inherit-everything

Burning through a billion years of life forever to be lost
Painting it in black and staining rivers without thinking ‘bout the cost
Thinking we’re invincible whenever we see clear blue skies
But a hurricane’s invisible when you’re sitting in its eye

We're all in this together
We’re fooling ourselves if we think that we know any better.
The world’s on fire, can't you feel the sting
Or the cries of those who’ll inherit everything

They set the rules like they're only playing cards - but this isn’t a game
For allegiances to different gods and nations all protected by their sacred names
And conquered every mountain and stripped life from the seas.
Mighty forests that once grew proud are never found ..except on bended knee


Copyright 2019 by Mark Rabuck


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #1 on: January 07, 2020, 03:31:25
Hi @M57

It's good to hear some new music from you.

I really like this - the vocals especially, really pure and melodic.

I was expecting the song to build a bit more towards the end, I think because I saw it was 4.40 long. In saying that I don't think it needs to build in intensity but (as I like shorter songs) I wouldn't repeat the whole chorus at the end. Especially as does sound like a repetition without adding any new element.

The line "the world's on fire" is very apt for me right now as Australia has severe fires and that line stood out for me. And there's something about the next part "can't you feel the sting" that doesn't quite fit.

i.e. fire and smoke or burn etc. but not sting - although in saying that, the smoke does sting the eyes and throat so maybe disregard my comment!

Looking forward to hearing this one as it progresses, especially if you do add real percussion.

cheers


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #2 on: January 07, 2020, 10:26:32
Do not apologize for writing only a few songs a year, @M57 . I am with you, and when I listen to the quality of what you make I will be enjoying each gem you share with us. You wrote a very beautiful song! Lyrics, music and vocals go so well together. You are my man!

There is something in the beginning where your guitar and 'stomp box' seem to be slightly out of pace. I think you could do without the very first base beats. Also the picking there seems a tad out of time.

I do agree with @Jurgen that something can be done to keep the span until the end. That would make the song even stronger.

Recording wise I have the impression that some de-essing would be needed.

Well, all suggestions to make a song which is already great as it is even better. Bravo!

Charlie

If you dig it, do it. If you dig it a lot, do it twice (Jim Croce).


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #3 on: January 07, 2020, 13:21:11
That is a sweet guitar!

I read the lyrics first....I don't usually do that....and I was thinking that they were a bit...wordy. But in song they are really good and you sing them with feeling and nuance. I do agree with @Charlie , however, about the tone of the lead vocals. They feel a little crisp to me.....more than just a de-essing thing.

Fantastic harmonies and vocal arrangement!

This is a very good song and deserving of as much time as you think you need to get it just right. I love the arrangement....how the bass guitar pokes in, for instance, and how the harmonies build.

Did I mention how sweet that guitar sound is?
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #4 on: January 07, 2020, 19:34:20
Hi @M57 ,

I admire the way you approach your songs and how you provide special attention to the refining stage of a track, giving it time to develop further.

I really enjoyed listening to your song. It is such a finely written piece imparting a highly topical theme. I like its arrangement and the brilliant and intriguing use of harmonies at the chorus (e.g. 1:29-1:36 – wow), giving life to the “we” in the lyrics. It’s also interesting to note the changes in the harmonies between the first and second chorus :) (for me that's a build up in itself). The guitar is sounding really beautiful, the quality of its sound is just perfect in my ears. I like the melody at “when you’re sitting in its eye”, it’s an effective change just before the chorus. Maybe the transition between the verse and the chorus (instrumental – wise) could be improved, perhaps highlighting more/bringing forward the bass sound at 1:04 could help ( ???).

The vocal delivery in the verses is really great too, I particularly like the way you sing “forever to be lost”, “thinking we’re invincible”, “when you’re sitting in its eye”, “except on bended knee”. However, if you’re seeking for perfection, these parts could perhaps be slightly refined even more: “cost” at 00:43-00:46; “better” at 1:24; “game” 2:06; “names” 2:20-2:22, higher pitched “all” at 2:44, the first split second of  “we’re” 3:30; the “s” of “those” at 4:10.

For me, this is already sounding fantastic, but given that you presented it as “still need[ing] a lot of work” I trust that you already have some ideas to make it sound even better ( ::headphone::). I’m looking forward to listen to how you’ll develop it into an even more brilliant song :)

I’ll definitely be following your updates on this one,
Happy cooking!
Rachel
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https://.com/rachel_debattista


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #5 on: January 07, 2020, 22:00:01
@<57 - deep bows, taking my hat off!
The harmonies in the chorus sound crystal clear and spot on.
Only 2 points of advice I can give, together with @Leonard Scaper  & @Charlie  - de-essing or otherwise making the vocals less crisp is worth your while.
And something is rhytmically weird at 2.39 - like there is a missing beat... on the other hand, if it is intentionally, then it could work.
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #6 on: January 08, 2020, 01:23:05
« Last Edit: January 08, 2020, 01:33:30 by M57 »
A huge thanks to everyone who has posted!  I'm pleasantly surprised by the amount constructive critical feedback I'm getting.  I'll comment on some of my thoughts as I read them..


The line "the world's on fire" is very apt for me right now as Australia has severe fires and that line stood out for me. And there's something about the next part "can't you feel the sting" that doesn't quite fit.

i.e. fire and smoke or burn etc. but not sting - although in saying that, the smoke does sting the eyes and throat so maybe disregard my comment!


Yeah, I'm aware that the semi-metaphor (some of it is literally on fire) is somewhat mixed.  Sometimes I just bow to the power of rhyme and let sleeping dogs lie.  Shh... don't wake them!


There is something in the beginning where your guitar and 'stomp box' seem to be slightly out of pace. I think you could do without the very first base beats. Also the picking there seems a tad out of time.

I do agree with @Jurgen that something can be done to keep the span until the end. That would make the song even stronger.

Recording wise I have the impression that some de-essing would be needed.

That is a sweet guitar!

I do agree with @Charlie , however, about the tone of the lead vocals. They feel a little crisp to me.....more than just a de-essing thing.

Did I mention how sweet that guitar sound is?

Hi Charlie and Leonard, I'll be working on all of the above.  The guitar squeaks in the intro have me playing with some de-squeeking techniques and it's messing things up. I'll probably end up re-recording that intro this coming weekend.

I hate de-essing, but I'm a serial esser and I know it needs to be done. Leonard's comment is part of the problem.  Maybe I can play with the EQ in a less surgical fashion to soften things.
Leonard, - The guitar and fretless bass parts remind me of one of my favorite albums ever.. "New Chautauqua" by Pat Metheny.  He plays all the instruments on the album.  Of course he plays some of the most beautiful solos over those parts.

Hi @M57 ,

Maybe the transition between the verse and the chorus (instrumental – wise) could be improved, perhaps highlighting more/bringing forward the bass sound at 1:04 could help ( ???).

The vocal delivery in the verses is really great too, I particularly like the way you sing “forever to be lost”, “thinking we’re invincible”, “when you’re sitting in its eye”, “except on bended knee”. However, if you’re seeking for perfection, these parts could perhaps be slightly refined even more: “cost” at 00:43-00:46; “better” at 1:24; “game” 2:06; “names” 2:20-2:22, higher pitched “all” at 2:44, the first split second of  “we’re” 3:30; the “s” of “those” at 4:10.

Rachel

Wow, what a wonderfully comprehensive set of comments.  I've listened to all of the places you've mentioned and I absolutely can hear the things you've pointed out. I'll be going in and tweaking (or re-recording) them a bit more in line-item fashion.  One thing you should know about me.  As much as I want things to sound great ..in this age of auto-tune, I abhor perfection.  I do use it, but I go out of my way to never correct something so that it's perfect.  If I'm 15 cents flat, I'll bring it up maybe 8 or 9 cents max. A special thank you for your very good ear and detailed suggestions.


Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #7 on: January 08, 2020, 04:21:53
Hey @M57  Mark  …. no constructive feedback to offer because it's all been said and this isn't really a style of music that I follow.
I'm just leaving the comment to let you know I listened to the whole thing, I think it is coming along great and I look forward to hearing what you'll do with it.
I like the lyrics in the chorus!
So .. good show … and keep on keeping on!  :thumbsup:
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #8 on: January 08, 2020, 13:25:52
@M57  great melody and even great guitar! Was a pleasure to listen!  :) :)


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #9 on: January 08, 2020, 14:38:20
I hate de-essing, but I'm a serial esser and I know it needs to be done. Leonard's comment is part of the problem.  Maybe I can play with the EQ in a less surgical fashion to soften things.

I agree with that approach after another listen. I'd be looking at a fairly wide but gentle cut in the 2K to 4K range on that lead vocal....maybe even a shelf cut around that area.

I'm glad you have posted this project, Mark. It's good for folks to see how you work as you really do work hard and meticulously at getting your production and your sonics to come up to your standards. In a way, you are making "a record" while so many of us are just recording demos to capture a song. Your production process may be time consuming but the quality of your finished work really gives proof to that process.


Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #10 on: January 09, 2020, 13:43:48
everything here is just awesome, the icing are the backing vocals, classic!
OUR NEW CD BLUE LINE OUT NOW :
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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #11 on: January 09, 2020, 14:08:37
@M57 It is already a great piece of work if you leave everything the way it is. I have a very subtle de-esser in my rack and would be happy to try and help you out. Most if all not all singers are (serial) essers, that's what those effect plug-ins are made for. You are welcome.
Charlie


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #12 on: January 09, 2020, 14:50:38
@M57 It is already a great piece of work if you leave everything the way it is. I have a very subtle de-esser in my rack and would be happy to try and help you out. Most if all not all singers are (serial) essers, that's what those effect plug-ins are made for. You are welcome.
Charlie

Hey Charlie, Thanks for the offer!  I actually have a number of good de-essers.   Right now I have a subscription to the Slate Everything Bundle, which includes the Eiosis de-esser, which is pretty cool once you figure out how to interpret the graphical representation of the file.  Also, I have Logic's 'newer'  stock De-esser, which is bare-bones, but very good and quite transparent.  I'm pretty sure I have one or two more that I haven't used recently. I just have to get better at using them.  The other thing that I normally do is go in and manually automate or use clip-gain on each ess.  It's a pain, but entirely worth the time spent.  One of the advantages  of not being prolific is that I have lots of time to burn being nit-picky.  ;D .   Anyway, de-essing is ususally one of the last things I do.  I like to keep my options open with the lead vocal, just in case I want to change a lyric or a melody here or there.


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #13 on: January 09, 2020, 17:23:57
That Eiosis de-esser looks pretty cool @M57 . I am also one for a lot of clip gain automation and saving the de-essing for last.


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Re: Those Who'll Inherit Everything
Reply #14 on: January 12, 2020, 02:23:10
« Last Edit: January 12, 2020, 15:15:23 by M57 »
@Charlie  @oorlab  @Leonard Scaper  , and Rachel_D

Thanks again for your feedback.. I've been working this with your suggestions in mind.  I think I've made a good bit of headway on it and I'm getting ready to get a RL drummer/percussionist to replace the virtual drum tracks.

Re-recorded a lot of the guitar tracks without squeaking.  It was a lot easier than I thought it would be; I just had to change my technique a little.

Did a little EQ carving with the guitars and lead vocal to get them to sit nicer.  Softening the guitars made a pretty big difference to my ears.

Added a synth pad on the verses.  What do you all think?  Too much? ..too little? ..too loud? ..too soft? ..keep it? ..toss it?

Used mostly clip-gain to take a bite out of the esses.  No de-esser yet. I may play with it a bit more, but I have to confess that big esses don't bother me as much as they should.

 @Rachel_D  - I dove in pretending I had your ears and cleaned up the intonation in places you suggested ..and maybe a few more.  ;)

https://soundcloud.com/m57/those-wholl-inherit-everything