• Truth
  • Started by Leonard Scaper
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Truth
on: October 27, 2018, 20:17:26
Just getting this one out here for review before voting starts on the challenge. I have been grinding a bit on it and a reality check from my fellow kitcheneers would be much appreciated.

Truth
https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13798679

I'm tryin'
But hard times
Took me away from you
From clear minds
Clear lines
And truth
But we've still got time
And now I'm
Working my way through

CHORUS
I'm gonna drive
Through hills that feel alive
And into those mountains
Tonight I'll find it
Tonight I'll find it
Tonight I'll find it
Tonight I'm gonna find it

Road signs
And white lines
Will carry me home to you
Star shine
Will clear my mind
Yes I've seen the signs
That you're still mine
But now I need the proof
And tonight I'm gonna find it

CHORUS

Now I'm tryin'
But hard times
Took me away from you
In my mind
I crossed that line
But we've still got time
'Cause now I'm
Working my way through
To truth
And tonight I'm gonna find it


"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Truth
Reply #1 on: October 27, 2018, 21:15:34
@Leonard Scaper This is really a nice song, but I sometimes get the feeling as if the stanzas are a bit disconnected. You play a number of chords to support a set of verse lines, and then you brake, and you go on to the next.  I think the reason is that normally, in such a song, there is a drum that supports the stanzas to go from one to the next, using fills. Possibly you might want to connect the patches with the help of a percussive instrument. I think that would really work magic on a song that is already quite powerful.
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


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Re: Truth
Reply #2 on: October 27, 2018, 21:24:01
@Pleudoniem ....I know you're right about percussion. I admit that many of my songs could benefit for further production along those lines, but I just don't like to program things into my music. Guess I'm too old school in that way.  ;)

I did put some congas in this one to try to do just what you are suggesting....move the song along better.  I played them in on my keyboard.

Thanks for that critical listen.

 :)


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Re: Truth
Reply #3 on: October 27, 2018, 23:03:53
Hello @Leonard Scaper, I like the depth in those lyrics. I certainly related to the story of someone who maybe has not been perfect, but is trying once again to restore love with someone he has loved all along, but somehow got lost along the way. Really good lyrics with a maturity in them that certainly connect!

Knowing your stuff as I do I wouldn't have bothered with the percussion at all., contrary to the discussion above. You have got more stuff going on here than in many of your songs already. I suppose you are an acquired taste in this respect, and I mean that with respect! You are an unplugged master, so I personally don't need a whole lot going on to enjoy your stuff, as the main quality of the song is in the storytelling and the core melody. Plus your 'sand and glue' (Bowie on Dylan) textured vocals - voice of experience!

This one is a good one and I am glad you got it out there before everybody starts drawing distracting Hearts in the snow and voting! It does deserve a decent bit of kitchen space!

If you like novels with a musical theme, why not try 'Sixth Beatle - When Music Changed The World', easily found on Amazon and Google. It is amazing, although as the author I may be biased!


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Re: Truth
Reply #4 on: October 28, 2018, 01:16:22
Nice job @Leonard Scaper .

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::

I like the addition of the congas as it adds a bit of extra interest without distracting.
I reckon that percussion like this works much better for your style of songs than a traditional drum kit .
Perhaps you could treat yourself to some more percussive toys to increase your choice of sounds on Black Friday ?  ;D ;D ;D

Ummm, have you ever considered a acoustic style of tapping as another way to embellish your playing ?
Maybe adding some small runs into your silences.  I often play over the top of the neck when doing this sort of thing especially with open tunings.

Another thought, have you thought of employing mandolin in your songs. I reckon that would fit into the Scaper sound very well.

Sorry for all of these ideas but sometimes a new instrument or idea can lead you down unexpected avenues.

Ummmm Love is Gonna Find You popped up next on your feed and I do like the construction of this track.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::



"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: Truth
Reply #5 on: October 28, 2018, 08:54:43
Road signs
and white lines
are a beautiful find
hat off.

Plus all (sort of) of the above.
I like it very much that the 'I' in the song hasn't given up. If she's willing to try it one more time, there's hope.

Nice one.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Truth
Reply #6 on: October 28, 2018, 10:14:42
Beautiful vocal and crisp production as usual!

I love the simplicity of this song. I could (as stated above) appreciate more percussion/drums coming in but I actually really enjoy the way you have it. Love the electric coming in for a nice riff.

Maybe just a touch of strings?

Love the lyrics as well.

Really great!!
Micky


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Re: Truth
Reply #7 on: October 28, 2018, 10:25:31
@MichaelA ......I truly appreciate your....appreciation...of my uniqueness. Chuckling at "acquired taste"....SO true! Honestly, I think that may apply to many if not most of us here at The Kitchen. "Sand and glue" is cool as well, although I think more of Kermit the Frog on Tom Waits.  ;)

@MrBouzouki ......you and I think alike here. I do try to let a lot of my percussive interactions with the guitar poke through in place of more traditional drumming. And.....I actually have a couple of older tunes where I strung my 1933 Kalamazoo with a Nashville set up...you know...the lower four strings tuned up an octave. It gave that guitar a very cool high lonesome sound....not quite a mandolin though. I might just do that again....thanks for that nudge....and for checking out that other tune.  :)

@LePlongeur .......that line was what started this song....road sign and white lines will carry me home to you. It grew from there. Hmmmmm.....you have called my attention to the fact that I almost always write in the first person. Must ponder that....

ah....Micky @Mutrins .......thanks for the appreciation of the production on this one. I actually had just tuned up my room a bit and it was sounding so good to me that I backed the guitar away from the mic a bit. That move made for a much cleaner capture. You can really hear the difference in the guitars if you listen through to the next song on my site.

I was hearing some strings as well......but I was feeling a need for simplicity on this one. I did throw in a bit of piano while I was mixing but I almost wish I had not.


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Re: Truth
Reply #8 on: October 28, 2018, 11:44:50
Thereís a difference between biographical and auto biographical. And in spite my writing I songs, doesnít mean that all the Iís are me.
And that doesnít bother me at all. Itís a story right?
What I do see as a drawback is the tendency (in general) to write I without consideration to what the other person means or thinks.
If the writer gives us a clou why he thinks his optimism is justified in the bridge for instance, the whole story would probably gain momentum. It gives a personal touch. There are people involved.
Thatís why I personally give the women involved a name. To keep the roles in focus. Congruence say the apple guys.

Please donít alter your way of writing just because of this. I can perfectly see the picture you paint me.
Your lyrics clearly stand out among the I love you so, baby please donít go drivel.

In short (!!!) this is what I think of it. Road signs and white lines is a thing of beauty.
Long may you run!
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Truth
Reply #9 on: October 28, 2018, 12:26:15
@MichaelA ......Chuckling at "acquired taste"....SO true! Honestly, I think that may apply to many if not most of us here at The Kitchen.

Now that you mention it, yes most of us in the Kitchen are indeed 'acquired tastes', ha! In my case, it's worse, as my wife says I am 'an acquired taste' in real life too! :)

I feel we have just stumbled across real wisdom @Leonard Scaper;D ;D ;D


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Re: Truth
Reply #10 on: October 28, 2018, 15:40:06
But once 'acquired' she has never let you go @MichaelA

 ::heart:: ::heart:: ::heart::


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Re: Truth
Reply #11 on: October 28, 2018, 16:04:52
hi @Leonard Scaper .... a very nice song, i like the choruses very much, and  especially those first three lines:

"'m gonna drive
Through hills that feel alive
And into those mountains"

in my mind it would be nice if you would add / repeat these chords and the singing melody with other lines before going into: tonight i am gonna find it

but it sounds very good to me  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone::
me, myself, and Pie


Re: Truth
Reply #12 on: October 28, 2018, 17:42:41
Hey @Leonard Scaper  nice song! I like the storytelling in the lyrics ... be the story unresolved as it may. It is relatable to many of us and it just makes sense. It's a nice musical arrangement as well.
Really I think the criticism that you're getting up above here is based on your shorter phrases and "stop and go" kind of style. But, that's what you do and you're consistent with it..... so that's cool!  :)
A some point you might decide to make a song that only "goes" and that will be cool too!
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.


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Re: Truth
Reply #13 on: October 28, 2018, 17:57:01
@Dutchbeat .....I like your perspective on the chorus. Thanks for listening.

@Bill from November Sound ......thanks for that about the story. It kind of evolved during the production process.....it was inside me I guess. And you are SO right about that style being mine.......but I think I lean too heavily on it. It is my comfort zone.

A song that just goes.......yeah. I need to break my own mold. Thanks for that.

Thanks to all of you for listening critically. I rely now on these crits for direction and ideas....because you know that I am always into another song.  ;)


Re: Truth
Reply #14 on: October 29, 2018, 17:10:58
@Leonard Scaper  your style is new to me , but very easy to connect with ( I fell in love with songwriting listening to Nick Drake). Unplugged and intimate with a personal story that`s sketched in the lyrics and completed by the feeling in the voice.
All of which is to say: this is very good ::thumb:: ::thumb::
I`ve read the comments above and had similar  thoughts on what a more propulsive percusson ( shaker?) would do in the chorus.
But personally I`d hope you don`t ditch the stop/go thing... its working!

Robert



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