• Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
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Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
on: February 28, 2021, 22:24:08
Hi Kitcheners :)

…the last day of February brought with it a new poem-song :) (with some miracle I managed to make the deadline @LePlongeur ! :) )

… I hope that you like it! This is dedicated to all those who need to listen to some encouraging words amid the current world situation.

Take care,
Rachel

LINK: https://soundcloud.com/rachel_debattista/wish-poem-song

WISH

Well this one is just for you
May time resolve the tracks untold
Made our way without a clue
Put meanings on the side
Every morning a surprise
Stealth away
like clouds in hiding
and the minutes caught in floundering
(are) forgotten when on top

I wish you well my friend
It’s not the end
Track down all that rekindles
The sunlit memories
Inside a world of hope – you will survive

This one’s for you
It has been long since all was put inside a song
And every time
The keys resolve to the same tune

Confined and tangled in a foreign land
Ticking out the seconds
Of a pocket watch
Determined to resist up to the end

I wish you well my friend
It’s not the end
Step into the light
Resolve the broken walls
And hidden doors
That lead outside

Untie the knots and shadows cast
Trapped inside a bullet tainted heart
Decode the path outside
that brings to life the happiness again


Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #1 on: March 01, 2021, 07:39:42
« Last Edit: March 01, 2021, 11:13:55 by LePlongeur »
I love it @Rachel_D
Is it just my perception that your poems tend to be a bit longer these days?
If so, I love that too. This is what we do after all: storytelling!

My favourite part is in ‘ticking off the seconds’ where you shift gears. A great find I think.

I wonder if you realise how unique your music is. And more in general: It’s going to be a lovely and very diverse album.
Thank you for posting this one too.
Kind regards, Gus



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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #2 on: March 01, 2021, 09:56:28
@Rachel_D  - wonderful contemplative lyrics and melody.
My tip would be to bring vocals and piano in balance more, by eq-ing and volume tweaking. I'd be happy to help with that
Cheers!


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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #3 on: March 01, 2021, 17:08:10
It's always a pleasure to listen to your soft and clear voice  ::headphone::
I love the backing vocals and I agree with @LePlongeur with the "ticking off the seconds" part when the melody is changing, that was a great idea.

Thank you for sharing this peaceful piece with your beautiful words  :loveit:


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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #4 on: March 01, 2021, 20:49:41
That's indeed a nice lyrics and I impressed how you always are able to finde those sweet melodies for your songs  @Rachel_D  :D


Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #5 on: March 19, 2021, 22:06:50
@Rachael_D, this could be a Bond  theme with the right production. Some great vocal intervals evident in the melody. Very accomplished lyric writing too.  Really enjoyable!

Paul


Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #6 on: March 23, 2021, 00:16:19
@Rachel_D I'm new to this forum so this is the first song I'm reviewing here and lovely it is too. As has already been said, it maybe needs a little work balancing the vocals with the instruments. So said, you have a great voice. I like the vocal sound and the use of stereo positioning etc. Paul says it could be a Bond theme and I wholly agree - it would be perfect. Excellent song. :)


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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #7 on: March 24, 2021, 17:22:15
It’s so great to read you comments!  :D

@LePlongeur  – Thank you for your wonderful feedback  :) ….true I don’t know why they’re getting longer lately!

@LePlongeur & @Mylene  – the ‘ticking’ part is also my favourite! and it’s really fun to sing faster lines :)

@oorlab  – Thanks for your feedback, I tried to tweak the levels a bit and uploaded a new version, does it sound any better? (I guess there's still room for imporvement)

@Mylene  – thank you for your encouraging words! I’m really happy that you enjoy my poem songs  :loveit:

@Mo  : Thank you so much for listening, I greatly appreciate your feedback!  ;D

@Cool Hand  – Hi! thanks for listening and for your great feedback …a ‘Bond theme’ ... - that’s a really interesting view! It would probably sound really cool with that sort of production! Now that you've mentioned it, I’ll probably start hearing the Bond theme during future listens !  :D

@ChrisPrice – Hi & welcome to the kitchen. It’s an honour that this is the first song that you encountered on your first moments in this wonderful kitchen  :D Thanks for your comment! I’m still a beginner when it comes to production and balancing sounds out so I appreciate feedback in that area. Thanks so much for listening and for your positive feedback!   :)


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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #8 on: March 24, 2021, 22:18:16
yeah - great mix - @Rachel_D 
on second hearing likeing these lines
"Stealth away
like clouds in hiding"
specially the way you pronounce it, subtle flavour in there.
https://soundcloud.com/rachel_debattista/wish-poem-song


Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #9 on: March 25, 2021, 16:49:36
I love these poem songs from you. Your vocals sound extra special in this one.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

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Re: Wish (poem-song) (FAWM II)
Reply #10 on: April 14, 2021, 23:41:18
Oh @Rachel_D , bit late to the party but I loved to hear a poem song again! And such a beautiful one with a heartfelt message. Thank you for sharing with us!
Love, Peace and Cheers,
Mar T.
:mart:
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams



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