• THE FREEZER
  • Started by Mar T.
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  • IsleofSkye
  • Poissonier
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  • (INFJ-T) - 20 yrs old and in college- how original

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    • September 29, 2020, 22:27:56
    • Newnan, Georgia, USA
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Re: THE FREEZER
Reply #15 on: July 25, 2020, 19:33:55
Thanks, @IsleofSkye . Going to see what I can do with 'Bruised'.  ;)

Donna

Canít wait!!
"When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find peace of mind is waiting there."-George Harrison


  • DonMar
  • Poissonier
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  • Karma Hunter

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    • September 24, 2020, 08:44:13
    • Delft, Netherlands
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Re: THE FREEZER
Reply #16 on: July 26, 2020, 12:56:32
« Last Edit: August 09, 2020, 13:58:35 by DonMar »
@IsleofSkye , here's a quick, basic draft. Probably needs tweaking, but I wanted at least to get it into some kind of context. Was a good exercise. Thank you for throwing the idea out there.  :). (I'm a stand-alone lyricist, by the way, so no music is forthcoming, unless you or someone else would care to have a go. ;) I hear it uptempo, pop-rock or something else catchy. )

UPDATE 09.08: Several word changes made, plus a third verse added.

Bruised All Over

V1
When I turn to my right
I remember that night
How you smiled at me
In the candlelight
Your eyes aglow
The half empty bottle of red

V2
When I turn to my left
I remember the web
Of deceit you wove
ĎI love youí you said
And gazed at me
But had someone else in your head

Pre-chorus
Every direction
I move just proves

Chorus
My heart took a beating
It's black and blue
Bruised all over
Bruised all over
Bruised all over
Because of you

V3
When I try to move on   
From a time [thatís] long gone
'N wound up with me
The sub-text in your song
I still donít know how
I thought what was right was so wrong                       

Pre-chorus
Every direction
I move just proves

Chorus
My heart took a beating
It's black and blue
Bruised all over
Bruised all over
Bruised all over
Because of you

Bridge
But one of these days
My heartís going to mend
Iíll meet another woman
To fight for again

Chorus
My heart took a beating
It's black and blue
Bruised all over
Bruised all over
Bruised all over
Because of you
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


  • IsleofSkye
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • (INFJ-T) - 20 yrs old and in college- how original

    • 210


    • 88
    • September 29, 2020, 22:27:56
    • Newnan, Georgia, USA
  • more
Re: THE FREEZER
Reply #17 on: July 26, 2020, 20:00:36
@IsleofSkye , here's a quick, basic draft. Probably needs tweaking, but I wanted at least to get it into some kind of context. Was a good exercise. Thank you for throwing the idea out there.  :). (I'm a stand-alone lyricist, by the way, so no music is forthcoming, unless you or someone else would care to have a go. ;) I hear it uptempo, maybe pop, pop-rock or something else catchy. )

Bruised All Over

V1
If I turn to my right
I remember the night
How you smiled at me
In the candlelight
Your eyes all aglow
The half-empty glass of wine

Pre-chorus
Now whatever direction
I try to move in
Has only proven

Chorus
My heart took a beating
It's black and blue
Bruised all over
Because of you
My heart took a beating
And itís bruised, bruised all over

V2
If I turn to my left
I remember the web
Of deceit you wove
When you gazed at me
ĎI love youí you said
But had someone else in mind

Pre-chorus
Now whatever direction
I try to move in
Has only proven

Chorus
My heart took a beating
It's black and blue
Bruised all over
Because of you
My heart took a beating
And itís bruised, bruised all over

Bridge
But time is a healer
My heartís going to mend
Then Iíll meet someone
To fight for again

Chorus
My heart took a beating
It's black and blue
Bruised all over
Because of you
My heart took a beating
And itís bruised, bruised all over

©2020 Donna Devine

Wow Donna!  :o  This is absolutely fantastic! I'm so glad you were able to get the idea and develop it so far!


Re: THE FREEZER
Reply #18 on: July 27, 2020, 02:39:39
Whoah @IsleofSkye and @DonMar  ... great work!
Karma for you!
 :ok:
I can hear the song in my mind and it is beautiful!!!!   :)
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.



xx
THE FREEZER - share random ideas here.

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